


SOC-101: Introduction to Sociology

by animepseud (multipurposeroom)



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-01-04 15:45:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 33,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21200123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multipurposeroom/pseuds/animepseud
Summary: How do I write a summary? The Straw Hats are in university. Roronoa Zoro is hot and bad at directions. The reader is intrigued by him and vaguely attracted to him but doesn't know it yet. Romance happens. Someone's brash decisions gets people into trouble. Antics ensue.





	1. Join My Project Group?

I'd been observing him for a while.

No, not like that. Yes, he was incredibly handsome, but that wasn't why. The man had three swords strapped to his belt at all times, and I wanted to know why. No, really. It was unbelievable. He clanked wherever he went. Granted, they were probably some sort of kendo swords, but still. Was he one of those otaku types? Lived his life in accordance to bushido, or something? 

Plus, he was always dashing off from class the moment our professor let us go, as if he was in a massive rush to save the universe. Always a sharp left turn from the doors. Then I would see him run back by our lecture hall five minutes later, going the other way. For weeks he would do this. It perplexed me. Why would you have to pass back here?! Just turn right from the doors! 

It was all I could take. My curiosity was beyond piqued. I had to find out more about this man.

Just as I was pulling up the class attendance tab on our student portal, Luffy slid into the seat next to me.

"Join my crew?"

I rolled my eyes at his request. He said this every week, without fail. 

"Your project group already has like, 9 people. And stop calling it a crew." 

"Next week, then!" grinned Luffy around his mouthful of...whatever he was eating. Luffy was always eating. I'd never seen him stop chewing. One time our prof politely requested he stop bringing full, Disneyland-size turkey legs into class, and he acquiesed by making one of his team mates mash them into meat paste. Like, they were full on turkey leg paste stuffed into those bendy silicon ice pop makers from Ikea. Luffy ate them like a cat would eat one of those squeezy cat treats. It was unholy. 

Luffy liked me because I was consistently competing with him for the top grade in every assignment, but also because I witnessed his meat treat eating one too many times and suggested he get his cheffy friend to make him meat buns instead. His eyes got so wide I thought they might fall from his head.

We became friends pretty quickly after that.

Aside from his cheffy teammate, his team consisted of 8 other people, and they were all clearly taking this class together as an elective. They seemed a disparate bunch: a top flyer in the business course, two dudes in engineering, a famous historian's daughter, a playboy in food science, a med student, an impossibly tall music major... And Mr Bushido himself.

Luffy was a super cool dude, so he probably wouldn't judge if I asked him an innocent question about one of his teammates. I hope.

"Hey Captain." Luffy made a noise of acknowledgement, his focus occupied by the container of potato salad before him. He was using the spoon side of his double-ended spoon fork and flicking mayo into his face each time he failed to scoop up a potato. "You know your friend, the dude with the swords?"

"Zoro? Why, you wanna fight him?"

Zoro... Oh, like Zorro? Nerd parents. The anime theory was starting to seem most likely. Wait... WHAT?

"What?! No, I don't want to _fight_ him! I don't even do kendo!"

"Oh yeah, that's a problem then. So you want to do hand-to-hand combat? How about fighting me?"

What was with this serious expression?! He even put down his pink spork. Luffy never puts his food down. I waved my hands, panicked.

"No! I don't want to fight any of you! What the fuck! Are you guys in a fight club, or something?!"

After an unnecessarily protracted back and forth where it was determined that his group of friends was _not_, in fact, in a fight club, I explained my intrigue at Zoro's appalling directional handicap. Luffy nodded knowingly.

"Yeah, he's like that. Check out the messages he sends me!" laughed Luffy as he clumsily opened a chat on his phone while trying to stir up his potato salad at the same time. I took his phone to read the chat he'd opened.

Nami, Today, 12.31PM:  
So you're saying you don't belieb?

Sanji, Today, 12.31PM:  
Yea I don't fucking 'belieb' what the hell is wrong with you?

Zoro, Today, 12.31PM:  
lol leg day doesn't belieb

Franky, Today, 12.31PM:  
Purpose was a good album though

Chopper, Today, 12.31PM:  
wait sanji you dont belieb??????

Sanji, Today, 12.32PM:  
OF COURSE I DON'T BELIEB WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH Y'ALL

I stopped reading and gaped at Luffy, bewildered and horrified. He glanced down at his phone.

"Oh, wrong chat. It's this one."

Zoro, October 29, 11.59AM:  
dont know where i am

Zoro, October 30, 7.21PM:  
dont know where i am

Zoro, November 1, 9.40PM:  
dont know where i am

Zoro, November 3, 10.03PM:  
dont know where i am

Zoro, November 3, 10.14PM:  
wait which store

Zoro, November 4, 7.45PM:  
dont know where i am

This went on for multiple scrolls. The same message, different days each time. I stared at the texts in disbelief. My dismay must have made itself clear on my face, since Luffy shrugged, grinning ruefully.

"I usually just call him when I get texts like this," Luffy rubbed the back of his neck while scrolling through their message log. "It's difficult to explain directions over text."

"Why doesn't he just call you?"

"He doesn't have enough minutes."

He doesn't have enough MINUTES?! What were we, in the early 2000s?! This raised more questions than it answered. Was he a time traveler? An Edo era samurai getting confused by modern buildings? Was that it?!

Luffy chuckled at my expression. 

"Why don't you join our project group and hang out with him yourself?" he grinned.

I thought about it as Luffy returned to his food. Honestly, what was the worst that could happen? Luffy was cool. I wanted to figure Zoro out. What's the worst that could happen? Repeating this argument seemed to acclimatise my brain to thinking this was a good idea. Yeah! What's the worst that could happen! I nodded to agree to Luffy's suggestion, but he was busy exacavating a potato wedged deep amongst its brethren. The mayonnaise ensured it was stuck good. I reached over and flipped the utensil, stabbing the potato with the fork end. Wiggle. Release. I handed the spork back to Luffy.

Luffy's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. His awe was as if I had descended from the heavens with sacred texts from the gods.

Oh God. How could someone so smart be like this? What had I gotten myself into?

A weight suddenly threw itself into the seat next to Luffy, shaking our row. The blond dude responsible dug around in his backpack, eyes glued to a classmate wearing a tank top ten rows down. He pulled out an insulated lunch bag and unzipped it. A container looking almost exactly like the one in Luffy's hands emerged. The blond shook the container at Luffy without even looking at him.

"I'm still eating this one, Sanji. Can you help me keep it until later?"

"STILL EATING?!" Sanji whipped around to stare at Luffy, appalled. He glanced down at the half-eaten potato salad, mouth agape, before eyeing Luffy suspiciously.

"I was talking to my friend," explained Luffy, gesturing at me as politely as someone shoveling forkfuls of potato salad in his mouth could. I waved. Sanji's wary eyes met mine. The wariness dissipated instantly, like cotton candy being washed by a raccoon. They were replaced by what I could only describe as lust.

"No wonder you were distracted, with such a gorgeous creature in front of you. Hello, I'm Sanji," Sanji crooned, running a hand through his undeniably well-coiffed hairdo. His other hand was extended to me. Against my better judgement, I put my hand in his. He proceeded to attempt to kiss it. I flicked up my fingers at the last minute, hitting him in the mouth with a resounding thwack. Luffy burst out laughing, an open-mouthed affair that sprayed chewed up potato bits over our hands. We both looked at him in disgust.

"Tough break, Black Leg," came a voice from behind us. A kerchief dangled delicately in front of Sanji. I turned around. What the heck, this dude was massive. Next to him in the back row were the familiar-looking gang, none of them paying any attention to the scene before them, like it was the most normal thing in the world to have Luffy spray food onto people. Hold on, was someone missing? Before I could say anything, Sanji was wiping chives off my hand, suggestively raising his... interesting eyebrows. I thanked him. He continued to waggle his eyebrows.

The projector whirred to life, signalling the beginning of class. The TA was telling us about final projects. Great. Group work with the bottomless stomach and eyebrow man. Whee. Lucky me. I hoped against hope that the other 7 wouldn't be as weird.

"All right guys, 3 to 4 in a team, you guys pick your groups, okay?"

Luffy enthusiastically waved an arm in the air. The TA called on him.

"What about 10 a team?" 

The TA sighed a long suffering sigh. He must have had Luffy in a previous class. His eyes flicked over me as he flipped through his class list, grouping me with them. I resisted the urge to form an X with my arms to deny my involvement with this gang. 

"How about this, Luffy? Tony Tony Chopper, Nico Robin, Usopp, Sanji, one team, Nami, Franky, Brook, one team. That leaves you, your new friend, and-"

At this juncture, the heavy doors to the lecture hall swung open. In marched a man in a kendo uniform, hair tousled with sweat, three swords clanking on his belt. 

"And Mr..." He consulted the list. "Roronoa Zoro. Great timing. Sound good?" 

Confused, Zoro looked over at Luffy with a frown. He let his eyes flit over to me and we locked eyes. He shrugged as he made his way over and noisily collapsed into the seat next to me. He nodded at me in greeting before pulling out his notes.

Ah. Closer proximity than I anticipated. Great, just great.

This was going to be a fun semester.


	2. Allergy Season

After Zoro made himself comfortable in his seat, Luffy finally finished his first container of potato salad. He reached a hand out and the next container appeared in it, like that one Disney Channel original movie. I peered into Sanji's bag to see two other containers of food. How does he eat so much? I me-

"I know! Ain't he cool?!"

I shot him a bored look over our lunch. I forgot I was recounting this lecture to the one and only fervid captain of the unofficial Luffy and Friends fan club. Luffy and gang? They should really have a catchier name.

"Bart. Barto. Mr Bartolomeo," I tenderly placed my hand on his shoulder as if I was a counsellor sussing out the family situation of a troublesome student with a heart of gold. "They're just people like us."

Bart gasped in mock offense, jerking back from the table dramatically with a hand over his heart. I laughed, in spite of the fact that he was most likely only half kidding. Really. Once, he made them give him their autographs. Autographs. They were framed and hung up in his dorm room. I saw them with my own eyes. One of them was just a drawing of a rooster. I swear to God. 

"Okay, but listen, Zoro-"

Bart gave me a knowing look. "Ah, you and ya Mr Zoro."

Excuse me? There was no "me and my Zoro". I indignantly clarified as much, only to be hit with an almost long-suffering unconvinced nod and hands raised combo. Ugh. I took umbrage at this. Just because I was intrigued by him didn't mean I wanted anything like _that_ with him. He was just interesting, okay?! Sue me for taking a natural anthropological interest in fellow humans!

"Whatever. Will you let me finish my story or not."

Bart raised his eyebrows and leaned in, his shirt getting dangerously close to his spaghetti bolognese, his uncontrollable fascination with the crew pulling him into my story like a tornado would pull a cow into the eye of the storm.

As Sanji packed the remaining containers away the prof ambled into the hall with all the casual grace of someone who was fifteen minutes late to lecture but was the lecturer. Thirty minutes into class she - of course - had to have a discussion activity "just with the people on your left and right".

Easy for you to say, ma'am.

It wasn't like I had any complaints working with Luffy and Zoro. I mean, they were both smart as all hell (academically, at least) and it wasn't as if this discussion had any bearing on our grades anyway. But something about working with them in such close proximity just felt... Suffocating. My heart was pounding at the thought. It was bizarre.

At some point in the lecture Zoro had located an apple, and while we attempted to discuss he kept, y'know, _biting_ into it. I had no choice but to watch each time he sank his teeth into the fruit. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. It sounded so crisp. One of his bites made juice burst out the apple, gently spritzing the tip of his nose. He casually wiped juice off his face with the back of a hand. 

Who does that?! Who. Does. That. That's unreal. Okay, I realise I sound like I'm overreacting, but I wasn't. It was just, you know, so distracting. Yeah! It was distracting! Luffy and I were trying to discuss the finer points of society's restrictive shackles, and the sharp lines of his jaw just kept moving. His Adam's apple bobbed each time he swallowed.

I remember thinking, it was in-

Zoro took one last bite of apple and proceeded to toss the core into the trash behind us. It landed squarely into the bin with alarming precision, without bouncing off the sides. Its trajectory almost skimmed their orange-haired friend. She whipped round to glare at Zoro accusingly. He raised a silent hand in apology and cooly turned back to us, with nary an acknowledgement for his phenomenal aim. He was barely looking!

In... In? What was I thinking? I'd lost my train of thought watching him! It was in- what? In... Indpendent study! Independent study. Of course. Duh. My face was getting hot. Was I supposed to meet Prof A for my independent study progress report today? Should quickly check my calendar... My body is really starting to burn up. Nope, that's tomorrow morning. Darn, morning. I hate mornings. This distraction wasn't working. I could feel my heart palpitating, my skin tight and warm. Even my hair follicles were heating up. I felt like a marshmallow being microwaved. Fucking hell.

I snuck a glance at Zoro. He hadn't noticed my apparent violent allergic reaction. He was, in fact, focused on examining the hand he used to eat the apple, before trying to write some notes with one hand. What a dork. I dug out my hand sanitizer and offered him some.

He looked surprised and murmured a thanks. I didn't respond, since Luffy was talking to me. 

Which I then thought about for hours. He probably thought I was some sort of rude schmuck who thought themselves too good for plebians and their meaningless platitudes like "thanks". And a bee sting victim, with how my face probably looked. Or worse, he thought I was a goody two shoes bee attract-er who was overly focused on our dumb class discussion. Or WORSE WORSE, he thought I was too nervous to speak to him after being stung by a bee. Which wasn't actually true. Luffy was asking if-

"Stop! Calm down, will ya!"

I stopped gesturing. I lowered my hands. When did I throw my hands up in the air, like I just didn't care? Well, I cared now. I forced my hands to keep still this time. 

"Dude, it felt terrible, like I was on fire, or something," I mumbled, stirring the melted ice into what was left of my drink.

Bart looked skeptical. "Well has it happened since?"

I shook my head no.

"And have ya seen Mr Zoro since?"

"Ha ha. Seriously. I think I'm allergic to wood now."

"Honestly, it sounds more like ya want woo- OHMAGOD!"

Bart began waving hysterically. I turned around to find out what he was calling out celestial beings for. Ah, of course. An entourage with Luffy at the helm had entered the cafeteria. They smiled in greeting as they passed our table. Every single one of them was wearing baseball caps with what seemed like eco-friendly straw replacements on them. What the fuck? Luffy gave me finger guns as he walked by, his overbearing friendliness steamrollering over what had to have been my expression of utter bewilderment. I gaped at him. Right next to him was Zoro, looking unnecessarily cool in his straw hat. He nodded at me in salutation. My heart skipped a beat. Heat immediately flooded my face, just like it did in class. Wait, what?

Nah, no. Uh-uh. Nope. I shut those thoughts down. That's the end of that.


	3. Side Quest

Why are universities so obsessed with group work? You ever thought about that? Why is it necessary? Like, what if I graduate and get a job where I am required to work in isolation and never need to work in groups with other people? Bet you'll feel real silly then, huh university? But I said none of that. All I did was groan internally, because I was more polite than the people who were groaning externally. Impromptu pair work for tutorial? More like Torture Time 3000. Finding someone to speak to was a nightmare. Ice breakers were a nightmare. Small talk was a nightmare. Meeting new people in general wa-

A hand tapped my shoulder. I turned around.

A man with a... I guess one would describe it as a hook nose? beamed at me. He waved a tentative wave.

"Wanna pair up?" he asked, a twinkle in his eye. I couldn't help but return his smile.

Usopp scratched at his scalp, eyes running over the instructions repeatedly in a bid to make sense of them.

I was glad to work with a member of the Straw Hat crew. Not only did I not have to pair up with a complete stranger, they also seemed nice and responsible. Usopp was usually seen boasting about some sort of nondescript achievement, but he still seemed like a decent dude. Plus, Mission Get to Know What Sword Dude's Deal Is was still in motion. So far, I had collected two new pieces of information. One, his full name was Roronoa Zoro. Two, he seemed to really hate one of their fellow members. Namely, that of the hand-kissing, culinarily-inclined variety.

A crash sounded across the hall, followed by more yelling. Almost everyone in the room flinched. Sighs of exasperation followed. This had been going on for a while. People had graduated from alarmed concern to resigned annoyance. Why did they even pair up if they- CRASH! -hated each other so much?

"Is this normal?" I questioned worriedly, gesturing at the fight that had broken out behind us. The TA looked panicked, running in between Sanji and Zoro in a desperate attempt to pry them apart.

Usopp nodded absentmindedly, not even bothering to tear his eyes from our assignment brief. Sanji was now standing on a chair to be taller than Zoro. Nope, it was to perform an airborne attack. A yell. Another crash. The TA rushed from the room, presumably to find a more intimidating authority figure to stop them. I turned back to Usopp. He still hadn't batted an eyelid.

"Is Zoro always mad? He's always frowning."

"No, it's just his face... Hey, what is Gramsci's notion of hegemony?"

His question threw me from my Zoro-themed line of questioning. I looked at his screen, seeing the assignment for the first time. Usopp looked incredibly stressed, his eyebrows so furrowed I was concerned he would get a forehead cramp. Whoops. Better pay attention.

"Oh, it's that society's dominant group, uh, like those in power or with privilege or whatever... Their thoughts? Ideas? Form the norm of everyone's lives, even if they don't have the same power or privilege. I think." I wavered. Was that right? Last night wasn't exactly my most focused study session. I guiltily pulled up my notes to confirm my theory.

"You're not sure? It's okay, we can just ask Luffy. Hey, Luffy!" Usopp twisted in his chair to get Luffy's attention. Wait, what? Where was his usual confidence? My hand shot out to grab his arm.

"Hold on, what are you doing?"

"Well, we don't know. Luffy is bound to know, he's good at this stuff."

I stared at him incredulously. He blinked at me blankly. Jeez, he was serious. How many times had he found himself in a pinch and had Luffy bail him out for this to be such an ingrained habit?

I tried to brush this aside. Maybe this wasn't any of my business.

Though... There was that one time Luffy and some dude were having a heated debate in class and Usopp just sort of made an offhand comment that neither of them had considered. The prof said it was an "excellent point" and Usopp silently looked down at his hands for half an hour. It was the first time he hadn't attempted to claim credit for something.

Then as Luffy clapped Usopp on the back he dropped a chunk of his popsicle on the carpet and stained a part of it blue and Prof got mad saying it was his fault that the administrative staff always got mad at her. Luffy suggested that they probably were less mad about the stains in the carpet and more mad that there was a rat living in the far corner, to which Prof only got more incensed, and funnily enough, was entirely unconvinced when their med student friend piped up to say that he was actually a vet student and it was his rat. Mainly because, as she pointed out, we didn't have a vet faculty in this university, but partly because to drive the point home said rat had poked its nose out and twitched its whiskers at the fallen popsicle for a good twenty seconds.

Prof made Luffy clean out the popsicle stain after class.

But back to the issue at hand.

Usopp made a great point that day. A really good point. No. I wasn't about to let him bury his intelligence under a habitual dependence on Luffy. Shaking my head firmly, I pushed my laptop toward him. I pointed at my set of heavily highlighted and annotated readings with the commanding gusto of an army general gesturing at war plans.

"You can do this. We'll do this together."

Usopp anxiously played with his fingers as he shared our response to the assignment.

Confused whispers arose through the classroom as he spoke. Usopp's eyes widened at this. He whipped around to look at me, his eyes panicked. I nodded vigorously for him to continue. The idea was his and it was valid! Ignore the whispers! He looked uncertain as he turned back to the laptop.

"Um, because a man can't have hair longer like mine without being asked if I'm a girl by the lady at the library printing room," he continued, talking at his screen. "Because men are supposed to have short hair, because dominant masculinity defines a man as one with short hair..." He trailed off, defeated.

"Right, good job guys," responded the TA, directing his attention to the next pair. "Next?"

Usopp's eyes lit up, mouth open in joyful surprise. Luffy patted him on the shoulder. He beamed with pride. The class was nodding! He'd passed! Without Luffy's help! He turned back to me excitedly. His joy was contagious. I couldn't help but return his look of delight.

For the rest of the class I felt warm inside.

"You saved my butt today, dude. Thanks," Usopp whispered as people weaved around him to file out of class. He grabbed my hand and pulled me in for one of those bro hugs. What? This was his own effort too. I pulled back, wanting to let him know as much, but he just let go of my hand, winking at me. I tightened my grip, crunching the paper he had stuffed in my hand. Huh? He'd slipped me a note. I looked up at his retreating figure. Usopp was eyeing me eagerly.

He gestured to his fist while walking backwards. Yeah, I got it, Usopp. You secretly gave me a note. I raised my closed fist and nodded to indicate that I got it.

"Your hand," he mouthed. Oh my God. I nodded dramatically, eyebrows raised. I gave him a thumbs up for good measure. Finally satisfied that I understood, he turned and joined his crew down the hallway, loudly bragging about his intelligence.

My eyes trailed down to the messily folded note. A phone number? It wasn't Usopp's, was it? I unfolded the tiny slip of paper.

Three swords were drawn in the corner. Ah. Roronoa Zoro's number. Sly.

I tucked the gift into my back pocket, comforted by his gesture of friendship. It was probably unnecessary to inform him that we had already exchanged numbers for the final project.

Wait, what the fuck? Why did he give me Zoro's number, all secretly and shit? Was my Roronoa fixation so damned obvious? Ugh! I should avoid Zoro from now on. And just observe him from the shadows. Like a cool ninja. Like a witch's cat. Like Edward Cullen.

Though it would be difficult to spy on someone in the day as Edward Cullen. It's like wearing body glitter in the sun then shimmying violently. Was he just really good at darting into bushes when Bella turned around? Or maybe she's not very observant?

Just as my musing about Twilight reached a crescendo, I ran smack into the chest of a tall figure. My head snapped up to see who it was.

Ack! Zoro!

...Who was going past the classroom door. Again. So it wasn't just the lecture hall?! This happened outside of the tutorial classroom too?! Was this man automatically lost once he stepped foot outside of any given room, or something?! How does this happen?!

He looked down at me, his blank expression unreadable.

I looked back up at him. He started rummaging through his backpack. What's happening? ...Damn, he's handsome. I could watch him all day. Also, how offended would he be if I sat him down to draw him a map of the campus? As I was about to nod at him and step aside to go on my merry way, he grabbed my hand. 

HE WAS TOUCHING ME. ALERT. RED ALERT. ZORO IS-

Huh? He'd walked away as I was having my crisis. What was this? He'd given me something. What was with boys sneakily handing things to me today? I looked down.

Hand sanitiser. 

The same brand as the one I offered him days ago, but seemingly part of some sort of summer collection. It was sunshiney yellow and featured a little smiling bear with sunglasses lounging on a beach chaise. He had probably noticed that I was running low and got me a new one. The thought of this hulking young man marching into a drugstore to purchase this adorable bottle made my heart skip a beat. I wondered if he remembered the exact brand or if it was a lucky guess. I uncapped the lid and sniffed it. Ah. It's unscented. Just smells like alcohol. So much for wistful romantic gestures.

I watched him as he made a left turn down a hallway. Wow, I- Hm? He's back. Ah okay he's supposed to make a right turn down a different hallway. 

And there that muscular back goes. Wow, I- Oookay, he's back again. He's supposed to just go straight. You got this, dude. All right, he got it. ...Yup, he got it. Wait. ... No, that's not him. Whew.

Wow, I think I _probably_ have a crush on this guy.


	4. Sunny Hall, Room 505

The next day saw me receiving a text summoning me to Sunny 505, thus culminating in me standing in the middle of a double room to the tune of chewing. On the bookshelf sat worn textbooks. The bed was unmade. An open bag of hamster food was tucked under the study table. 

It was a normal dorm room.

Except, oh right, half of the walls were _covered ceiling to floor in pictures of meat._

I couldn't even think: "Oh, so this is what a boy's dorm room is like", since I was absolutely certain this was not what a boy's dorm room was like. I didn't think this was what anyone's dorm room was like. Until Luffy invited me to Zoro and his shared room for our first project meeting and I unsuspectingly stalked into the bizarre half and half room to see this unbelievable explosion of food-themed decor. Framed photos of steaks. Pancake Post-it notes. A photo of him, Usopp and their vet friend at a theme park. Aw! Takoyaki sculpture. Chicken drumstick shaped lamp. Food in various stages of eaten littered everywhere. There was a tub of gravy being used as a paperweight. No kidding.

Zoro wasn't there. He was rushing over from kendo practice, which gave me the opportunity to snoop around in his side of the room as Luffy plowed through a rack of ribs. It was, in contrast, pretty empty. Books sat neatly on the floating shelves, which were, in direct violation of dorm rules, nailed to the wall. The desk was near empty but for a laptop and a pencil pot. Nothing interesting. Maybe except for the elegant set of katanas resting quietly on the wall, silent yet stately, drawing your attention like a massive oil painting so big it could be a mural.

Oh, and the fifteen bottles of alcohol under the desk. No biggie.

A bone clunked onto a plate noisily. I turned. All attempts at conversation with Luffy were rejected by a sign. As in, the literal sign that he'd hung around his neck, which said, "I am eating." He had been wearing it since he answered the door. I respected the sign and instead looked out the window.

It's a peaceful, sunny day at Sunny hall. Ah, there's music playing! Who was that playing the violin on the grass? Oh, it's their music major friend. What was his name again? Brook? What's that sign on the floor say? ..."Performing for panties"?!

I saw wrong. I must have. I definitely misread that. Something else. Let's do something else. I pulled a Post-it sheet from Luffy's desk to write Zoro a note. Hey, I had to thank him for his gift. I stole a pen from his pencil pot. Hm, what should I write? "Thank you for your gift!"? I guess that would be safe. T...h... Wait, should I say "hi"? Crap, I already wrote "Th". Okay, don't panic, I'll just extend the T so that it looks like a H, and then write three I's so that it looks like I meant to say "Hhiii". God, this looks dumb. 

The music got louder. A yell. A thud. The music stopped.

I ripped off another sheet to start over. Screw it, I'm just going to go with "Hi Zoro thank you for your gift". Hope he remembered giving me the hand sanitiser. I drew a bear with sunglasses for good measure. 

There. It can go right there on the pencil pot. I drew Luffy eating a huge t-bone steak under the rejected "Hhiii" note and returned it to its Post-it stack home for him to find later. Luffy didn't notice.

The door flung open. Ack! The pen in my hands dropped onto the desk. Zoro stood in the doorway, his gym bag slung on one shoulder. He looked straight at me, expressionless.

Why was he staring at me? Was he mad at me for using his pen? I couldn't tell. Ugh! Why was his face so hard to read??? Before I could apologise, his bag was tossed into the room while he kicked the door shut. He must have just showered, since a fresh, clean smell emanated from him as he flung himself onto the bed. I resisted the urge to sniff violently like a dog.

Project. Right. We should start discussing our project.

"So yeah, let's do that for our first proposal."

"Yay! I thought this project was gonna be hard," cheered Luffy, stretching his arms over his head as if we had been talking for hours. 

I chuckled and waved a hand dismissively. "Nah, this first part's a piece of cake."

His head snapped up suddenly. As if frozen in time, his arms stopped abruptly mid stretch. I startled. What the heck?

"Luffy, focus." Zoro's usual scowl deepened. What was happening? Did I do something? Luffy's gaze bore into mine silently. His hands shook ever so slightly, as if he was resisting the urge to break out of some shackles.

"Luffy." Zoro's command fell on deaf ears as Luffy got up. He marched toward the door like a man on a mission. Wait. Where was he going? Wha- 

The door slammed shut. Confused, I stared at Zoro. He was shaking his head.

"You said, 'piece of cake', so he has to eat cake now." Zoro stole a glance at my distraught expression and smirked. "It's not your fault. Franky used to love saying 'cool beans'." His eyes widened at this, as if he had unearthed memories of indescribable horror. "I had to stop him from saying that one real quickly."

I crinkled my nose. I could imagine.

Hold up. Zoro and I were in a room, together. Alone. The realisation that I came to yesterday suddenly flooded my senses. My heartbeat sped up. Could he hear it in this silence? Oh God. Was I having an Awkward Encounter with the man I had a crush on?? Nooo! QUICK, THINK OF SOMETHING TO SAY. He had gotten up now, to get something from his desk. Okay, he's distracted. This is fine. We don't have to make conversation. This is a comfortable silence. 

OH NO HE'S DISCOVERED THE NOTE. I looked around desperately for a hole to hide in. Could I dig one right now?

"You're welcome, by the way." Zoro directed this at the window. His back betrayed none of his facial expressions. "You like bears?"

NO???

"Yeah! They're really cute."

WHAT??????

Zoro nodded, holding the note in one hand. He put it down on his desk. Every cruel second that passed was the extension of the worst social nightmare of my being. 

"So!" I exclaimed, hands clapped together, voice too loud for the room, heart filled with guilt about the dishonesty regarding my emotional ambivalence towards bears. My eyes darted around the room desperately. There must be something we could chat about. Gravy... Chair... Kendo swords! Kendo! 

"You like kendo?!"

Zoro turned his head ever so slightly, his earrings clinking melodically. 

"Love kendo."

"O-Oh yeah? Why?"

He turned around fully this time, his body facing me but eyes fixed on his swords. 

"Have to," he said while reaching down to pick one up. He admired it in his hands. "In order to be the greatest swordsman in the world."

I stared up at him. Broad shoulders were sillouetted against the sunlight streaming in from the window, the sword reverently held aloft horizontally to his body. His eyes met mine.

"I-"

The grating sound of a fire alarm tore through the sentence.


	5. The Greatest Swordsman in the World

BRRIIIIIIIIING.

The relentless ringing faithfully persisted, echoing off the walls of the enclosed stairwell as my feet pounded down the concrete steps. I had to beat Zoro to the quad. He had bet that taking the fire escape would be faster, but I was convinced that Sunny Hall's regular staircase was closer to the emergency meeting point. Well, it wasn't so much as a bet as a conversation that got out of hand. Thanks to me. 

Listen. He was being so smug. When the bell rang he had lightly shoved my shoulder and been all: "Fire escape's that way." 

"Why the fire escape? The stairs are closer to the quad," I'd retorted, trying to determine if the pounding of my heart was the result of a heart attack, or just from his touching me. 

Zoro had rolled his eyes. "It's called a _fire, escape_." 

His cool disposition made my blood boil to a sticky syrup. "Fine. You take your precious _fire escape_, and I'll take the stairs, and we'll see who gets there first."

"You're on."

"NO RUNNING."

In blatant disregard of my own parting words, I'd immediately turned in a dead sprint to the stairs. 

And here I was now, coughing my lungs up in the quad, attracting the attention of the bored first aiders on standby. Ha! I'd beat his smug ass! Oh God, but was it worth it? Lactic acid burned in my calves like a swarm of fire ants. My lungs and brain felt like they had switched places.

"Took you long enough."

My head snapped up. Dammit! Zoro was towering above me, arms folded, a picture of serenity. Had he been here ages? He didn't seem to have run here. Only the ever slight heaving of his chest betrayed his calm.

"You... ran... here!" My accusation was punctuated with embarrassing gasps for air.

"So did you."

"Ma'am, are you all right?" One of the first aiders had walked up to us. I tried to wave her away, but my hunched, panting form provided suspect credibility at best.

An arm found its way around my shoulder. I looked up. Zoro was facing the concerned first aider, his side profile gently bathed in shadow from the setting sun.

"It's okay. She's with me. Gonna get her some water." Still holding me, we walked away from the quad, water the last thing on my mind.

It was an innocent question.

He looked down at me stonily. I repeated my question.

"Why did you bring your sword with you?"

"I'm going to be the greatest swordsman in the world," he responded easily. A rehearsed response, like the first lines of a play from the mouth of an actor who had done this one too many times, like the false swipe left in a choreography decided upon weeks ago - just like we practiced! "Need a sword for that, don't I?" He chuckled mirthlessly.

I frowned. That made no sense.

"You take your sword to a fire drill because you wanna be the greatest swordsman in the world?" I pried.

"No, because I have to be."

We had found ourselves in the weird park behind Sunny, the one with the old fountain of our university's founder feeding a bird or something right in the middle of the pond. Moss had grown all over the base, consuming it entirely. I stole a glance at Zoro. He looked distracted, as if his mind was running a hundred miles a minute, yet sad, as if he wished he could just stop. My heart lurched. The temptation to reach out and hug him was unbearable.

A pebble suddenly flew across the path as he stumbled and landed on one knee. Jesus! Before I could try to help him up, he just pulled himself up to sit on a boulder by the pond. He kept his face low, looking out at the koi circle the fountain in the middle of their territory. Was he okay? I couldn't tell. He never struck me as clumsy, though, which was highly concerning. Oh God. What if..?

I crouched in front of him, studying his face intently. He raised his eyebrows. 

"Zoro, Zoro, hey, could you smile for me, please?" 

He eyed me with a mildly annoyed scowl. "I don't have a stroke, dumbass." 

Well damn, okay. I guess everyone read the How To Spot A Stroke pamphlets in the dorm lounge. (For the uninitiated, it said "Smile, Talk, Raise arms". The first three letters of stroke!) Zoro jerked a thumb at the rock beside his, an invitation to sit. I sat.

I didn't think he wanted to discuss the sword thing. Oh God, does that mean I should be trying to fill the silence? Okay, tree. Bird? Fish??

Zoro spoke first.

"I had a friend. Kind of a mentor I guess. We were competing to be the best swordsman in the world." Zoro paused, as if bracing himself before ripping off a Band-Aid. A beat. "She died."

I resisted the urge to gasp. A lump formed in my throat as I considered how to proceed.

"Did.. Was it a sword-related accident?"

"No, she fell from a flight of stairs. Head injury. It could have happened to anybody." Zoro stared unblinkingly at the burbling fountain. "I used to blame her, y'know? Accuse her of running away from her dream. Now that I'm older it's just... unfair, I guess."

"How so?" I asked, confused. Did he mean that unnatural deaths were unfair? His jaw clenched and unclenched.

"Her death had jack shit to do with the life she lived. It was.. random. Impersonal. God doesn't imbue death with life."

We fell silent. The fountain's burbles seemed to be the only sound for miles. Zoro pulled his sword from his belt and held it with both hands.

"That's why all aspects of my life are in constant pursuit of 'greatest swordsman'." He tightened his grip on the sword. "So even if I die crossing a street, choking on a fishbone, whatever. Everyone who saw or knew me would know this was all I lived for. This is who I am." 

He slotted the sword back into his belt. A wan smile. "Kinda dumb, huh?"

It wasn't dumb. I didn't know how to say this. I probably didn't have to.

My shoulder leaned in to his, bumping it in a wordless show of support. He hesitated before quietly returning the bump. We sat on the rocks in silence, listening to the fountain burbling away, feeling the breeze mess up our hair, watching the fish swimming round, and round, and round...

"Hey! You guys!" Usopp called from across the park waving enthusiastically. Ack! I jumped a mile. Where the heck did he come from?

"Y'all okay?" he continued yelling. "Zoro, why were you jumping off the fire escape?!"

Zoro blinked.


	6. Sometimes You Just Have to Fight a Seven-Year-Old

The next day saw me buying a green washcloth for my dorm room and saying my favourite colour was green in class. The day after that had me choosing matcha boba over my usual boba choice. This was so embarrassing. I couldn't believe I was buying _matcha boba_ just because it reminded me of a man who had _jumped off a fire escape_ just to win a _dumb bet_. Two days later and it was still all I could think about. What if he found out? This needed to stop. Get out of my brain, Zoro! Oh, phone's buzzing. 

Zoro, Today, 12.30PM:  
dont know where I am

I choked on said matcha boba. WHAT. What were the odds? My fingers rushed to reply.

You, Today, 12.30PM:  
Well, where are you?

Zoro, Today, 12.31PM:  
ah. this isn't lufy

Nope, it was not. He was probably lost again. Actually, directions were my thing. I could play Luffy's role here.

You, Today, 12.31PM:  
I could be for 300 bucks.

Zoro, Today, 12.31PM:  
what?

FUCK. I blew it. I blew it. He definitely thinks I'm some sort of Luffy kink roleplayer now. All that bonding we did, wasted. Should I tell him I was joking? I-

Zoro, Today, 12.32PM:  
thats a rip off. 250. highest ill go.

Oh. Oh, I see. Mr Bushido has a sense of humour, does he?

You, Today, 12:32PM:  
Honestly I'd be Luffy for a chocolate chip macademia cookie from the cafeteria.

Zoro, Today, 12:32PM:  
you like those?

You, Today, 12:32PM:  
You don't?  
Hold on, are you lost? Do you need help

Zoro, Today, 12:33PM:  
don't like sweets  
yeah lol  
sorry to bother  
meant to text luffy

You, Today, 12.33PM:  
Hold on, I can help. Where are you?

My phone suddenly started buzzing in my hands, almost making me drop it. Roronoa Zoro (SOC101) is calling. My brain screamed like a banshee. Deep breaths. Hands shaking, I swiped to pick up the call.

"Hello?"

The deep voice made my heart skip a beat. Roronoa Zoro was really calling me. My grip on my phone tightened painfully. I put on the voice of someone who was relaxed and not having a heart attack. "Hey! So uh, where are you?"

"I.. Don't know."

Wow. Maybe offering to help was a mistake.

"7-11? There's a train station across the street. Tryna get back to dorms."

The 7-11 opposite the train station? It was literally two right turns from campus back exit. Hm. This seemed complicated to convey. What if he took the turns at the wrong time, or something? Who knew how his directionally challenged brain would interpret instructions over the phone? Ugh. If only Luffy gave me a crash course in retrieving lost Zoros. A familiar convenience store jingle chimed from Zoro's end.

"Listen, just stay there. I'll come get you."

I hung up. 

What the heck? He wasn't in here. I'd walked twice around the tiny convenience store, asked a store clerk, and even examined the insides of the beverage fridges.

Hey, I don't know. I found a carton of eggs in there once. They didn't even sell eggs.

Zoro was nowhere to be found. Was this some sort of elaborate prank, or something? Did I make a mistake? I whipped out my phone to text him.

"Bing bong." Instinctively, my head shot up at the sound of the welcome bell, fingers paused over the keyboard.

A man wearing headphones danced into the 7-11. Our eyes met. He stopped dancing. Suddenly incredibly interested in the nondescript white tiles, he made a beeline for the milk. He looked so familiar... Franky?

Hold on, "bing bong"? Over the phone it was a jingle that chimed. 7-11s don't sing songs, they just binged bongs. Where was the song from then? Ugh, that tune..! It was so familiar! Come on brain, you can do it!

It hit me. Fucking hell. Zoro wasn't in a 7-11. He was at a Family Mart. The nearest Family Mart with a train station across it was like, a twenty minute walk from campus. Right? God, I wished I had some sort of clue telling me I was going in the right direction, y'know, like a quest map in a video game. Hold up. There was literally another Family Mart five minutes from our uni. WHY did he walk all the way to that one?! 

Okay, no time to dissect his choices. I sped out the 7-11, the bongs binging behind me.

Zoro was flipping through some sort of comic book when I stormed into the store, pointedly ignoring the familiar chime celebrating my successful treasure hunt. I put my hands on my hips and glared up at him.

He calmly put the magazine back, before turning to look at me.

"7-11?!"

Zoro surveyed his surroundings. A quick glance at the staff's uniform told him all he needed to know.

"Ah."

"Ah"?! I'd show him "ah"!

Before I could start yelling at him, a hand landed on the top of my head. Its weight rested kindly on me, reassuring and warm. Time seemed to stop. I could feel my eyebrows hit my hairline in surprise.

"Thanks." He ruffled my hair. With a swift turn so I couldn't see his face, Zoro started walking toward the door.

Wha- what? What just happened? The glass doors slid open, anticipating our departure. Zoro shot me an expectant look over his shoulder.

"Let's go."

A detour had taken us into a park. The idea was to just cut through it to get some fresh(er) air ("D'you think trees could clean my clothes, too?" "What?" "Nothing."). It was supposed to be a brief affair. That plan went out the window when a small child dashed into our path, making us throw on the brakes so hard I almost dislocated my knees.

She fell onto the path, kneepads crashing onto the ground with a clack. Her large eyes examined us in fear, as if she was trying to suss out if she could trust us. Alarm bells instantly went off in my head. I whipped around, eyes darting around the park in search of danger. This was a safe neighbourhood, but still. Better safe than sorry. 

Zoro stared down at the child. "What?"

Her eyes widened at Zoro's gruff tone. She looked pleadingly at me. "Scooby... Scooby's in trouble! There's a demon!"

Demon?! Scooby?! What was this, popular Cartoon Network TV program Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!??? As I struggled to figure out what to say, Zoro shifted his weight as he ran a hand through his hair, his swords clanking against his hip.

The little girl's attention immediately snapped to the swords. She gasped, gaze darting to Zoro with renewed awe. "You're a ninja! Please come help Scooby!" she pleaded, clasping her hands together. Zoro and I exchanged glances, then turned back to the child.

"Well where's the demon?" Zoro and I said in unison. We looked back at each other in surprise. Don't copy me.

The little girl ran off deeper into the park. We plodded after her.

"Bet you Scooby's a kid."

"Shut up, Zoro, it's gonna be a dog."

He extended a hand. I took it. A firm handshake later and we were sprinting toward the playground.

What we saw there was... Confusing, to say the least. I had my phone ready to call the cops in the off chance it was a murderer or kidnapper poised to attack, but now it seemed like I should use it to take a photo for posterity. A child (7? maybe 8?-years old, definitely older than the girl) was hugging a sturdy-looking branch, pretty high up on a tree, yelling at an extremely large orange cat. Talk about role reversal. He was holding a stick and wearing a Batman outfit, complete with a mask hiding his true identity. The child, I mean. Not the cat.

Leaves rustled ominously as the kid inched his hands up to sit up against the tree trunk, sending a couple of leaves fluttering to the soil below. One leaf hit the cat on the ear, much to its disdain. A bunch of worst case scenarios played in my head. Oh God. What if his branch snapped? What if he slipped off his branch? What if the Joker shows up in the tree??? Noticing the leaf hit the cat, the kid violently shook a branch next to him to release more leaves. BE CAREFUL, BATMAN.

"Scooby!!! Help him!" wailed the little girl, agitatedly clutching at the hem of her paisley shirt. Her panic tightened my already tight nerves.

"Which one is Scooby?!?!" I screeched, unable to keep the frantic tone out of my voice.

"Scooby!!!!!" the little girl screamed, extending her elbowpadded arms to point at the fat ginger cat. A disappointed noise escaped Zoro. It was lying down now, a loaf of cat, unperturbed by the chaos unfolding around it. "Demon!" she continued, now angrily directing an accusing finger at the boy, who stuck his tongue out at her as he tauntingly waved the large stick at the feline.

Jesus. To be clear, the cat was in no immediate danger here. The kid was too high up for his stick to reach the cat and it seemed more than capable to run away if necessary. I was more concerned for the children. The poor girl seemed on the edge of a meltdown. Plus, how did Batman get up there? _Why_ is he up there?

Zoro walked up to the tree and stood in between the cat and its attacker. He folded his arms. "Can you get down?"

"Get outta my way, greenie!" Batman violently extended his stick in a bid to stab Zoro in the face. Zoro dodged it with ease.

Wow, that was hot. His arms were still folded and everything. Okay, don't get distracted. I swiftly headed for the fluffball, lifting it gingerly to get it out of Batman's attack radius. It was handed over to the little girl, who hugged it gratefully. The cat looked unfazed.

"Argh! The cat! THIS IS WAR!" yelled the boy, descending quickly into hysterics. The little girl jerked to hide her cat from him, but stayed to watch. Why this much panic that the cat was removed? It was starting to seem like the cat was an excuse and he was probably stuck up there, trapped, along with his false bravado and bad choices. He was threatening Zoro with his stick now, wielding and jabbing it clumsily like a child playing at jousting. Time to help him down.

Zoro calmly removed a sword from his belt and assumed an attack stance.

"You may have high ground, but this soil's an awful lot steadier than that branch," Zoro stated as he gave the ground a cursory glance, tapping a foot to illustrate his point. He dug his heel into the dirt. "Come at me."

WHAT?!?! ZORO!!!

The boy's mouth fell open. "Th-that's not fair! We should fight on equal ground!" He adjusted his mask arrogantly. The nasal tone of his voice exposed the undercurrent of fear pretty clearly this time.

Zoro nodded firmly. Great, this ordeal will be over soon. He just needs to help Batkid get down and- Wh- Why's Zoro climbing up the damned tree in three leaps like a fucking leopard? _ZORO!!!_

Batkid looked more shocked than I felt, his mouth now so wide open that I was convinced he had dislocated his jaw. He had to tilt his head all the way back to clearly see Zoro, who was standing next to him casually tapping his shoes on the surface. He made a show of testing the branch for its battle readiness, even shaking it at one point, much to the boy's panic.

"This ground isn't good to fight on. We should go back down." Wide-eyed and silent, Batkid nodded. Zoro casually but slowly made his way down the tree, subtly pausing to let Batkid catch up at each step. A couple of strategic jumps later they finally landed safely on the ground, shoes thumping into the soil of the solid, not six feet high earth. The relief emanating from Batkid was palpable. 

"I- This is- You win this time!" Sand splashed as the boy whipped around and ran off into the park.

Well, guess that was that. Zoro brushed off sand from his knees and ambled over to us. He nodded at me and we started to leave, when the little girl raised her cat at Zoro. We stopped short.

"Thank you for saving Scooby, Mr Ninja! And Mr Ninja's girlfriend!"

I sputtered uselessly as the girl waddled off with her cat in her arms, heading determinedly for her bike. Wait, she wasn't planning on stuffing the cat into that basket, was she? I looked around for a parental figure.

"Ninja," Zoro suddenly grumbled under his breath, sliding his sword back into his belt with finality. "The ones who use swords are samurai..."

Dork. I turned away to hide my smile, my heart feeling like it had grown two sizes.

The walk to my dorm room was over too soon. We were in front of my door now, the only thing separating me from my probably fully melted matcha boba. Zoro ruefully rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Y'know, kinda wish you and Luffy could know where I was all the time. It's a pain to work out where I am."

"What, like give us a magic sheet of paper that will always point to you?" I joked.

Hold on, we sort of had that.

"Hey, get your phone out."

Zoro obediently obliged. His phone didn't have a case on it. Maniac. I flipped through the settings. Aha, there we go: Family Sharing Find my iPhone. I quickly set it up.

"There! Now I'll always be able to know where you are. You can set it up for Luffy too."

Zoro looked down at his phone and back up at me. A smile. My heart started racing again. It hadn't been doing this the entire day, and now my body felt like it was about to spontaneously combust.

"Thanks." He ruffled my hair once more before walking away.


	7. Operation DLZRYICOH is Go

It was when I was walking toward the lecture hall couple days later, minding my own business, putting one foot ahead of the other, that it hit me. Mission Get to Know What Sword Dude's Deal Is was over. There was no longer any point in this pursuit - I knew Roronoa Zoro like the back of my laptop. I knew his dislike for sweets, I knew his competitive nature, I even knew his anime protagonist backstory. 

There was just a new problem. I had come to a life-altering realisation about my feelings toward him. And so, without me even realising it, another operation had begun.

A tap on my shoulder distracted me from my musings. Ack! Zoro! _Of course_. He eyed me as he fell into pace next to me, a smirk playing on his lips.

My heart felt like it had leaped into my mouth. Here we go. Operation Don't Let Zoro Realise Your Insurmountable Crush On Him is go.

"Ah, fancy running into you here," I joked.

A beat. We stopped in front of our lecture hall. Zoro glanced around him, as if to confirm his current location. Oops.

"I'm joking. This is the right lecture hall."

He nodded slowly, before sneaking a glance at the number printed over the door to confirm it for himself. Wow. Unbelievable. Guess good-looking people don't always have it all.

I shook my head, trying to stifle my chuckles as I stepped toward the door. His handsome visage appeared in my line of sight, stopping me in my tracks. "Hey, lecture only starts in five. Wanna get food?"

WITH YOU?! YES????

Wait, no. Operation Don't Let Zoro Realise Your Insurmountable Crush On Him! Agreeing to get food together?? _Suspicious! _Operation DLZRYICOH is at stake! You brought lunch anyway! Use that! People streamed in behind us, including a familiar determined-looking group of people in straw hats. I raised my lunch.

Before I could say anything, Zoro looked down at his phone, before swiping to answer an incoming call. "Yeah." He looked frustrated.

"Captain you gotta help!" came the tinny voice on the other end, packed with panic.

"The gis better not be on fire again." 

"Again"? I decided it wasn't the best time to ask. Seeing as he would probably be busy... fighting fires for the kendo club for a while, I attempted to slip past him. A hand shot out to grab my arm. 

"Hold up, where will you be sitting? The usual?" I nodded, eyes wide. He returned the nod, before turning to yell at the person on the phone.

When I first matriculated at the university, I thought many things. I expected that I would be around intelligent people all the time. That I would be challenged intellectually in a bid to better my learning. That there would be cheap food that was crap.

What I didn't expect was... This.

The pamphlets I received at the open house never described ambling into lectures as "baffling", and yet here this scene was, unfolding before me. Luffy, crouching by the corner of the lecture hall, shoveling pellets into a hole in the wall. A bag of hamster food, sitting by him loyally as he worked.

"Mr Luffy, I do not think he is there anymore." The tall music major towered over Luffy's hunched figure, surveying the scene from above.

"That's impossible. I saw him last week. He's here."

Brook looked uncertain. He shot a glance at Chopper, who wrung his hands as he peered into the hole.

"Maybe he moved?"

Sanji rolled his eyes. "To where? There are other mouse holes in this place for rent?"

Robin looked thoughtful. "There might be some in the back of the cafeteria stalls."

No one questioned the source of this information.

I attempted to tiptoe past the group to get to my unassigned assigned seat without getting involved. Ack! My foot got caught on a... Hamster cage?! 

A giant pair of arms caught me mid-tumble. A face looked down at me, concerned and apologetic.

"I'm suuuuper! Sorry. I'm super sorry." Franky stumbled over his words, nudging the cage under a seat with his foot. He paused. Sharp eyes darted to my lunch, arms still supporting my weight. "Is that a Lunchable?"

With a tight grip on my Light Bologna and American Cracker Stackers™, I hastily got back up on my feet and nodded.

"Cool beans," Franky nodded, before immediately gasping in regret. At the exact same time, Sanji spun around with the vigour of a freshly pulled Beyblade. 

"A LUNCHABLE?!" Sanji marched toward me and snatched the pack out of my hands. Before I could protest, Luffy strode in between and past us like a man on a mission. Franky followed closely behind. 

"No, no, Luffy, I said cool _jeans_," he called after Luffy's unstoppable retreating figure. Franky lowered his head into his hands and groaned. "Zoro's gonna kill me..."

I could only watch helplessly as Sanji ripped my lunch open. He peeled off a perfectly circular bologna slice to glare at it incredulously. An angry shake. The rubbery meat wobbled furiously. 

"How can you eat this... this..."

"Baloney," Chopper supplied helpfully.

"More like BALLOONY!" Sanji yelled, lobbing the meat disc across the hall. It didn't go far, landing five feet from us with a sickening splat. Chopper gasped. Sanji closed the distance between us and placed his hands on my shoulders. "I will make you better food than this, my angel. Don't you worry."

Franky picked up the abandoned Lunchable pack and started building a cracker sandwich. My lunch... 

An arm snaked around my shoulders. Hands hid the bologna from view as Sanji whisked me away like a policeman escorting a witness from a murder scene. "Don't look, don't look," he cried dramatically.

Zoro chose this moment to bust into the hall. We locked eyes. The gentle smile on his face faded. The expression had evolved to judgemental confusion by the time he got to us in a bid to get to his unassigned assigned seat. A small reusable baggie was held loosely in his hand.

"Sanji was getting me away from a Lunchable on the floor..." I trailed off. Wait, this was good. Operation DLZRYICOH was going well. Why did I feel the need to explain things to him? Look Zoro, I don't have a crush on you. I'm in Sanji's arms. In a bid to further emphasise this, I reached awkwardly to pat Sanji's shoulder, much to his unrestrained delight.

Arms folded, Zoro's gaze flicked to the empty patch of floor that I had pointed at. Wait, what? Empty? Where did the lunchmeat go? Brook and Chopper scanned the floor in confusion. Robin was looking meaningfully at the corner of the lecture hall.

Zoro's grip on the transparent bag tightened. There seemed to be a cookie in it. Chocolate chip macademia. Sanji let go of my shoulders and gestured at the bag.

"Hey Mosshead, why'd you get Luffy a cookie? I baked him some yesterday."

"It's not for Luffy."

Zoro's expression was carefully nonchalant as he threw the cookie at me. "Scooby isn't a kid. I lost." I caught it with both hands. A crude drawing of a bear with sunglasses sat smudged on the surface of the bag. 

"Thanks," I whispered, unable to take my eyes off the bear. Zoro folded his arms.

"I lost a bet, that's all. That's the reason I got you this. If not I would owe you."

I ran a finger over the drawing. His voice barely registered in my brain. The bear had a fat oval face and little circles for ears, joined together like a textbook figure of a water molecule. It had no nose and was smiling widely, underneath oddly-sized sunglasses that hinted at eyes too small and close together to be anything more than a biological improbability. It was perfect.

Luffy collapsed into the seat next to me and burbled a hi as I stowed the bag away in my backpack. Zoro eyed his can of beans and whipped around to glare at the back row.


	8. Field Trip, Pt. 1

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Eight people stood before me, none of them about to be America's Next Top Model, bordering on violently discussing seating arrangements in a car not made to fit ten. Zoro had his ass on a sidewalk column, arms folded, somehow asleep.

Unbelievable.

Five minutes ago, I just wanted to leave the lecture, sneaky and unnoticed, but fuckin' Mr Beans looped his weirdly long arm around my shoulder and before I knew it, I was being sheparded into one of those annoying group walks through the hallway. You know those, where a group of friends blocks the corridor with their slow-ass amble and you have to walk around them? Yeah. It was criminal.

"Where are we going?" Usopp piped up, casting a longing glance at the cafeteria. His stomach grumbled loudly.

"Ha ha, I heard your stomach grumple!" laughed Chopper, pointing at Usopp's nose.

"...Grumple?" Sanji looked incredulous. Horror tinged his tone. "You're in _med school_."

"Seriously guys, where are we going? I'm hungry." Usopp slowed his walk to make his point, almost bowling Brook over.

"The cosplay store in town." Nami let out an exasperated sigh as she gestured at Franky and Brook, who was still stumbling. "For our final project? I said it in the group chat."

No one questioned why they all had to go.

"Let's stop by the McDonald's drive-thru first, 'kay guys?" Luffy finally let go of my shoulder and reached for a car door.

Click click.

Click-click.

Clickclickclickclickclick-

Beep-beep!

The door flew open. Luffy flew backwards in surprise. Shaking it off in less than a microsecond, he started to climb into the front seat, before Nami tugged at his arm.

"No, no! We're going to the drive-thru! You can't sit there, they recognise you."

As Luffy sulked, Usopp filled me in on Strawberry Sunday. Needless to say, sundaes were involved. As were the police.

And here they were now, choosing the least suspicious-looking among them to sit in front who a) would not be turned away nor b) have their food confiscated at the window. Ten minutes and forty seconds later, they finally came to a decision. (Of that time, it took two minutes and twelve seconds for Zoro to fall asleep. Not that I was counting.) Nami would drive - much to Franky's displeasure, being the owner of the car - with Robin in the passenger seat.

I stared at the vehicle in question. The white Subaru was a regular old five-seater car, and eight people needed to fit into the back. Failing out of math classes was a personal hobby of mine back in high school, but even I knew this wouldn't add up.

When I recited these concerns no one seemed fazed. Chopper waved dismissively. "We'll sit on each other's laps like always, it's easy peasy melon breezy."

"Melon breezy"? "On each other's laps"? I should probably go. Before I could make my excuses and escape, three figures loomed before me.

"Please sit in my lap," requested Sanji, Brook, and Franky in lascivious unison, extending their hands with a flourish. Oh God. My feet stepped back of their own violition. I should probably _go_.

A hand pulled me backwards onto a broad, muscular chest. I scrambled to steady myself. Who- Adonis. I mean Zoro. It was Zoro.

Late morning sunlight beamed on his profile, highlighting the sharp angles of his face, setting aglow the honeyed brown of his irises. Seemingly in slow motion, he glanced down at me.

Zoro cocked an eyebrow. "Not sitting in Sanji's lap?"

I shook my head violently. A nod. He draped his arm casually over my shoulders and faced the crew. My eyes widened. I stood as if the world's most expensive sheepskin scarf had been draped over me, stock-still, as if it would slither off my shoulders if I moved an inch. Brook and Franky broke formation, disappointed. Only Sanji stood his ground.

"No one sits on me usually anyway," Zoro offered, bored.

"Yeah, because you stab people in the back," Sanji spat, glaring at the swordsman while shaking his fist. "_Literally!_"

Usopp returned my disbelieving questioning expression with a solemn shake of the head.

Should I be fearing for my life? No, the man I had a crush on wouldn't do that to me. Right? I mean, I'm an excellent judge of character.

Wait, fuck. The operation! This couldn't get any worse.

It got worse.

I was doing my best to look uncomfortable, though feeling the warmth on my back and knowing it was emanating from him was indescribable. My exhilaration was unmatched. I'd never been happier, and that includes the time a bird landed next to me and ate a crumb from my palm. Actually, maybe sitting on Zoro's lap was second...

Not the point. I couldn't let anyone - especially him - know it. I had to expel all sinful thoughts. Or rather, just prevent them from emerging from my face. You can do it, me! Don't look like I'm enjoying it don't look like I'm enjoying it don't look like I'm enjoyi-

"WHAT?!" A bellow cut through my mantra.

"Don't be mad, I'm just saying it's absurd."

"What's absurd about it?! It's oatmeal!"

"Yeah, that's just it. It's not oat, nor a meal. Especially not oat."

"I have to agree with Mr Usopp here. Oatmeal just doesn't make sense."

"Are you- Wha- I- Are you fuckin' kidding me?!"

"Okay! Fine! Everyone stop fighting! I just won't get the yogurt parfait berry blast!"

The car screeched into a parking spot at McDonald's. Nami spun around. "We're not doing this again. Write down all your orders NOW. Luffy you're getting a party set for 4, and that's it."

"Aww," Luffy pouted. He crossed his arms and slumped into Franky.

Nami turned to me kindly. "You okay? I know it's uncomfortable, we'll be done here soon." Without pausing, she grasped Luffy's head like a facehugger alien, stopping him from trying to convince Franky to add extra food to his order. Her clearly tight grip on his cranium did not dim her smile. "What would you like?"

Luffy was struggling now. Garbled attempts to yell "berry blast" at Chopper made it clear that he thought Franky was the problem the first time. Chopper nodded frantically. It was hard to take my eyes off them.

"I'll take an Egg McMuffin, thank you."

"THH'S BRHHKFHST?!"

The entire car groaned.

As far as ordering ordeals went, we escaped relatively unscathed. Orders were made, at least. The car pulled unharmed into the next window.

"All right, I paid." Robin slid her wallet back into her satchel. She smiled benevolently. "Everyone either pay me back, or face eternal wrath."

Grumbles arose throughout the backseat as money and cellphones were removed from pockets. Nami whipped out a TI graphing calculator to compute how much she owed. Brook put on reading glasses to count his change. Food was passed from the perplexed McDonald's employee to the stressed bank employees inside of the car. Phone in hand, I leaned forward to obtain Robin's details.

A tap on my shoulder stopped me. Hm? I looked back.

"Luffy dragged you along on this." Zoro tapped on his phone as he spoke. "I got you."

"No, it's fine you don't have to do this-"

Zoro raised his phone, sipping on his black coffee. The amount had already been transferred to Robin.

"Thanks," I mumbled. I could feel myself flush bright red, heat collecting in my cheeks like melted iron poured into a sword mould. Surprise flitted across Zoro's face. Oh GOD, did he notice?! I quickly turned away from him to root through the paper bag for fries.

Sanji leaned over Chopper digging through what sounded like fifty dollars worth of coins to eye Zoro.

"What's this, Marimo? You never buy people shit. You tryna get in her pants, or something?"

Zoro upended the hot coffee onto Sanji's head.


	9. Field Trip, Pt. 2

Don't worry, Sanji wasn't hurt.

The lid was on pretty tight, plus someone had ripped the cup out of Zoro's murderous hands, so only a couple drops of coffee escaped. Not enough to hurt Sanji too bad. Enough to induce insurmountable fury, though.

So Zoro and Sanji started a brawl in the parking lot. Meanwhile, Franky cavilled about car cleanliness for twenty minutes as we sponged up any coffee that missed its mark. Luffy sat down on the tarmac and inhaled his lunch.

It wasn't long before we were off again, trying to get past a stretch of stop-start traffic. Some sort of parade had staked its claim on the route we were on, an inexplicable explosion of rainbow feathers and rollerskating birds. Seemed we'd stuck a while. Zoro made me get up for a second so he could stretch out his legs for a more comfortable nap. The moment I sat back down he had already fallen asleep. Incredible.

"Guys, guys." Chopper waved a hand in the air. "Let's play a game I invented. It's called See It? You describe something you're seeing and we all guess what it is."

"That game already exists, Chop. It's called I Spy."

Chopper narrowed his eyes at Usopp. "Oh yeah? But in my version, you have to say 'See it? It's something...' then provide a clue." He crossed his arms smugly. Checkmate, Usopp.

"Yeah, 'I spy with my little eye something...'. That's in the original game too."

"Sounds fun!" Luffy ignored Usopp's retort. "See it? It's something green and leafy! See it?! DO YOU SEE IT?!"

Okay, I guess we were playing bootleg I Spy now.

"Tree."

"Bush?"

"Leaf."

"DING DING!" Luffy pointed at Franky with all the vigour of a TV game show host. Franky gasped and held a hand to his chest, eyes glassy like he had just won Miss Universe.

A man in an eagle costume weaved in between the cars, waving a sign indicating the nearing end of the parade stretch. Nami swore.

"Why is he needed?" she demanded, gesturing at him as he passed. "We can see the damn "exiting parade" arch from here."

Zoro stirred. I waited. Nope, he's not getting up.

"Let me see if I get this." Robin held her chin in thought. "See it? It's really annoyed."

"Nami," the car said in unison.

It was when everyone was guessing for "something tonally abysmal" that it happened. A horrible crack ripped through the serenity like a violent child with some drawing paper.

The metal arch right in front of us was caving in.

A panicked stream of invectives flooded the car like ocean water. Nami slammed on the brakes. The car came to a screeching halt, throwing us all forward. A strong arm wrapped around my waist, preventing me from flying face-first into the windshield. The metal bars crashed into the ground, narrowly missing the hood of the car. Decorative bits sprayed onto the windscreen. Fuck! Wide-eyed, I watched as various feathered festival attendees scrabbled to get the debris out of the road. I glanced at the others. Luffy and Usopp had both face-planted into the seats in front of them, but seemed otherwise unharmed. Brook had managed to grab Chopper in the nick of time.

A silence ensued. Energy thrummed in the air, tangible as a tangerine. Nami drove on once the road cleared.

A beat.

"WELL THAT WAS FUCKED UP."

Everyone exploded into fiery discussions of what they all thought of the scenario, punctuated occasionally by Chopper yowling "I thought we were gonna _die_!" repeatedly. 

Amongst the caterwauling, I remembered my human seatbelt. The arm was still wrapped around me. Oh my God. Was this a hug? I mean I'm glad to be alive and I'm happy everyone was safe and sound and of course that none of those festival birds got crushed but now that the adrenaline of near-death had started to fade, WAS. THIS. A. HUG?!

I ever-so-subtly peered over my shoulder.

Zoro was still asleep. Seriously? I had my doubts, but his expression betrayed nothing about whether he knew what he was doing.

This is getting harder by the second. If I let him hold me, did that look like I like him? Could I enjoy this without looking suspicious? This was on him, right? It would look like _he_ likes _me_. But would someone ask, "Why didn't you take his arms off you unless you liked him back?"????????

Bzzzt. Bzzzzt. Huh? Why is my butt vibrating. Were my thoughts so intense that they made my butt vibrate?

Zoro retracted his arm to pull his phone out of his pocket. Oh. Right. Blearily, he held the phone to his cheek. He offered only grunts and noncomittal 'mm's to what sounded like an emergency on the other end. We pulled into the carpark.

Everyone stumbled out the car as Zoro hung up on whoever was on the phone.

Ah. We were now stood in front of nerd haven of the town: the illustrious Cosplay Supplies and Other Nerd Stuff 'R Us.

I don't know. I don't work there.

A life size Boba Fett figure greeted us at the doors, successfully tempting Luffy and Usopp to high-five it as they sauntered past. The store was huge. At noon on a Tuesday, the store was understandably pretty deserted, apart from a girl longingly perusing some comic books and a loud group of dudes in the far corner.

Nami made a beeline for the cosplay section, with Franky and Brook trailing after her. Brook got distracted by the anime figurines section, bending down to "check if they were wearing panties". It did not go far. Thanks to Nami's intervention, Brook was forced to exit the aisle ear-first. Hatsune Miku narrowly escaped Brook's appalling research endeavour. 

Sanji nobly stayed to complete the investigation as Robin disappeared into a row of books. Usopp and Chopper were nowhere to be found. The group was splitting up so quickly. Oh no. Was I being left alone with Zoro? Nope. Luffy was right here. Thank God.

"Luffy." Zoro pointed to the far corner. "Look. Weapons."

Luffy let out a hoot and dashed toward the shelves of cosplay weaponry.

Oh _no_. Now we were left alone. We took a slow stroll after Luffy as I underwent an internal crisis. Was I blushing? Was he looking at me? Did he suspect anything? I snuck a look at Zoro. He was closely examining an Eevee with a top hat. Okay. Results inconclusive. 

Oh, oh. Here's an idea. Maybe I should emphasise that I'm a cool person who sees him as a friend, instead of a loser with a crush on him! That makes sense, right?

I cleared my throat. "This is such a cool place for friends to hang, huh?"

Zoro tore his gaze from Formalwear Eevee to frown down at me. I guess that was an odd thing to say. In a desperate attempt to save my brain from further embarrassment, my feet marched me away into the cosplay weaponry aisle.

Ooh! Deadpool katanas! Wow, the swords are heavy, I wonder if they're real. That's dangerous. ...Sexy though. 

Huh. Do I have a thing for swords?

I didn't know how long I was standing there drooling over the katanas before I noticed figures hovering around me.

I snuck a glance behind me to make sure I wasn't somehow standing in someone's way. Three men, all decked out in garish nerd tees and loose shorts, were gawking at me. Uh oh. In studying them, I accidentally locked eyes with the tallest one in the middle. His eyes widened. Crap. Look away, look away. I pretended to busy myself with the katanas in my hands.

"I dig your style," said a voice.

I pretended not to hear over the Panic! At the Disco music playing in the store. It was time to Panic!, all right.

A shadow fell over my line of sight. They were right next to me now.

"Be careful, don't stab me!" joked the tallest one, an awkward smirk on his face. His two friends snickered. I dumped the katanas in their stand and turned to leave. He blocked my way.

"I can teach you about these swords, if you don't mind." Greasy fingers shoved the smeared glasses up the bridge of his nose. "This character is super strong. His name is Wade Winston."

They towered over me, blocking out the warm white lights overhead. I wanted so badly to be polite and shake my head, but fear left me frozen. I was outnumbered. We were surrounded by heavy props. This was an empty corner of the store. Millions of possibilities following my rejecting him spun through my head.

Luffy was a ways from us, studying some sais. Maybe I could get his attention? Ugh, no! I was an adult! They were just a bunch of... Teens? Young adults? Younger than me adults? Whatever! Why did I have to deal with this?

"No thank you," I stated firmly. Wrong answer. Surprise skimmed over his face for a split second before his features twisted in rage. He glared at me.

"I was just being nice." He reached for me. "You don't have to be such a stuck up bitc-"

A hand gripped my arm and yanked me out of his reach. Grah! My back thwacked against a warm surface, knocking the air out of me in an "oof". I looked up.

Zoro.

He shot the boys a bored look, fingers rested casually on the swords on his belt. The hand holding my arm shifted to my hand. My eyes darted down in surprise. Staring at our joined hands gave me a funny feeling. Was I happy? No. This had transcended joy. Is this what heaven is like? God..? You there?

I felt myself get pulled behind Zoro. Oh, right. I forgot we were in trouble. Zoro jerked his head at the sword display behind the three stooges, before reaching for one of his own.

No no no Zoro do not-

Too late. One of them scrambled to transport one of the swords from its holder to the apparent leader of their little posse. Leader struggled to wield the katana in position, pointing it shakily in Zoro's general direction. A familiar wooden sword reciprocated, poised elegantly for attack. 

ZORO. STOP TURNING EVERYTHING INTO A SPARRING OPPORTUNITY.

I tightened my grip on his hand in warning. He returned my squeeze, almost reassuring in its immediacy. Huh?

"What are you doing?!" Everyone's heads whipped around at the frazzled screech. A teen in uniform stood before us, eyes darting from weapons to rogue customers in disbelief. He snatched the katana from Leader's limp grip. "Just- Get out of the store!"

Zoro and I sat on the curb, waiting for the others to emerge, like two students waiting for their parents to pick them up after detention.

I kicked at a pebble in annoyance. "I can't believe we got thrown out."

Zoro hummed noncommittedly. I had a feeling the crew was pretty used to getting in trouble. That hunch did not stem my tirade.

"You know what's worse? He actually said 'Wade Winston'. It's Wade Winston _Wilson_! Everyone knows that!" Indignant wrath bubbled inside me like a crockpot of soup about to boil over. I punted the pebble into the far depths of the car park. "Argh! I should have said something!"

Silence. Hm? I turned. Zoro was smiling down at me, his eyes gentle.

"What?"

He turned away, directing his gaze to the car park, obstinate smile still clinging to his lips. "Nothing."

Something in his expression made my heart flip over. I kept my head down to hide my blush.


	10. Watershed

Mid-semester Test Season squeezed all the energy from me like meat paste from one of Luffy's squeezy cat treat tubes.

There hadn't been a second to myself the whole month. No time for breathing. No time for eating. No time for emotions. Except in classes, I didn't even see my cosplay store swordsman in shining armour. As I marched from the exam hall, the last of the tests behind me, all that was left in my brain was getting to my dorm and sleeping my existence away.

Bzzzt.

Luffy, Today, 11.52AM:  
Hey come join us  
We're going to the arcade

Orrrrr not.

You, Today, 11.52AM:  
What. Is someone doing a final project about the arcade?

Luffy, Today, 11.52AM:  
We're just going for fun! not everything's about studies  
You're such a nerd! Haha!

I scowled at the screen.

Luffy, Today, 11.53AM:  
Anyway I have a test tomorrow so if you're on campus could you grab me chapter 14 notes from my room

My scowl deepened.

I looked up from my phone. I was almost there. The entrance to my dorm was literally fifteen steps away. Sleep was within reach. Ugh. Traitorous feet turned and marched down to Sunny Hall.

Luffy said there would be a key under the shoe rack. Flip flops, sandals, boots, flip flops, running shoes, flip flops... Huh? Among the sea of flip-flops was an empty Smucker's jar. Aaand there was the key, sat visibly under it. Not in it. Under it. So much for home security.

The key slid easily into the lock and I entered the room. Notes, notes notes, look for Luffy's notes. Ah, there they are.

Papers in hand, I started to leave, but a shiny blue square of plastic glistened in the sunlight, catching my eye. It was sitting on its own amongst the vast emptiness of Zoro's desk. A sure sign from the gods of privacy invasion to investigate. Time to snoop!

I picked up the square. What was this? AAAAAAAA IT'S A CONDOM. Put it back, put it back! He's been SEXING IT UP this whole time?! Wait, who has he been having sex with?! ZORO YOU- Wait wait wait the name of our uni is printed on it. Right. Last week they started that safe sex campaign shit and there were paid volunteers handing these out like candy. Pretty sure Chopper took a bunch thinking it was actually candy. I took one too. Everything's fine. Okay. Whew.

I mean, not whew. Zoro can sleep with whoever he wants. I guess. Whatever.

I readjusted it to accurately replicate its original position on the desk.

Hm? A familiar pancake Post-it note rested on the pencil pot. "Hi Zoro thank you for your gift"... Huh. Guess he hadn't bothered to throw it out. Wait, there's two. Hey, it's the note I wrote Luffy! 

Why was it on Zoro's desk?

Bzzzt.

Luffy, Today, 12.01PM:  
We're already here, curry  
*curry  
Haha!  
*curry  
Hahahaha!!

Notes safe in my backpack I curried, ah, hurried to the door, locking it behind me and stowing the key back under the jam jar.

The arcade wasn't far. Its dimly lit yet colourfully glowing interior smiled upon me within ten minutes of a leisurely stroll. Luffy and I stepped in together. Hold up. Luffy? I thought they were already in here? A curry-stained grin told me everything I needed to know. Of course.

Spotting the gang near a square machine with blinking buttons, I sidled up to Brook.

"What's up?"

Chopper reciprocated my salutation with a raised palm. His eyes were dark. "We have a score to settle."

Jesus. This was the most serious I had ever seen him. And that includes the time he had to do the Heimlich on that dude choking on dango.

Chopper cleared his throat.

"A victor must be decided..." An arm swept outward to the machine with a dramatic flourish. "At Bushi Bashi."

The machine was occupied, Usopp and Franky slamming their hands into buttons, frantic energy unparalleled by any normal occupied Bishi Bashi machines emanating off of them. I'd never seen Usopp move so quick. Legs kicked and stomped in attempts to distract each other from the game at hand. Their unsteady stools rocked about ominously. Neither of them were winning.

Brook nodded solemnly. "The feud must end today, Mr Chopper."

They shook hands. Franky fell off his chair.

"What are you, scared?" came a distant jeer.

Uh oh. I knew that voice. Sanji was fighting with someone and there's only ever one person he's fighting with. My heart skipped a beat. Was this the first time I would be seeing him since Test Season?

"Whatever." 

And there he was. Zoro ran a hand through his fringe. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. His hair had gotten longer since I saw him last, now further mussed up by him brushing his hand through it. Half his handsome face was lit aglow by the blinking blue and green lights of the game machine he was leaning oh-so-casually on, arms folded, frowning, deep voice dipped in annoyance like toast into honey.

God, he's sexy.

"I don't dance."

And apparently, he's also Chad, from High School Musical. An arm slid over my shoulder, dragging me into the fray. Hey! I found myself facing off a massive Dance Dance Revolution machine. Whoa, it's been a while.

Signature eyebrows greeted me with a waggle. "You'll dance with me, won't you, princess?"

Oh God no. I swore never to get on one of those again. Zoro straightened.

"Get of- You're on. I'll crush you, Eyebrows."

Sanji smirked, releasing me. The two of them bounded onto the DDR machine. Oh. Ohoho. This was gonna be interesting.

Sanji had clearly done this more than a couple times, gleefully navigating the menus with ease. Ever the dick, he proceeded to select a Level 19 song. Zoro seemed unfazed, his expression carefully neutral.

It quickly became obvious that selecting a difficult level was unnecessary to embarrass the swordsman.

Zoro was _terrible_.

It was like his limbs suddenly stopped receiving signals from his brain. The left tile would glow and he would step right. The up tile would flash and he would step on down. Bright flashing lights highlighted the sheen of sweat that had formed on his brow, likely from the effort of stepping too hard on the sides of the tile instead of the tile itself.

It was very cute. Excessively cute. If my crush on him was water and I was some sort of water containing device, I was definitely about to overflow. The feelings I held for him were rapidly reaching the brim. Dumbass can't dance for shit. And somehow, that cranked the crush tap to maximum. It took everything within me to not clamber onto the machine and tackle him into a hug.

Zoro stepped on the correct tile, only to receive a "miss..." from the machine. An indignant noise escaped him. I gripped a nearby machine to anchor me down.

Minutes later, it was over. No dance, dance, nor revolutions were in sight, unless you counted my head spinning. To be fair, Sanji did great, but it was the fruit of a lot of undignified flailing, which somehow racked up the points. Ultimately none of what they were doing could constitute as "dancing". Still, seeing Zoro on that machine was... Something else. I didn't think my heart could produce that much liking for someone, and yet here I was, fondness threatening to burst forth like beans from a burrito at any time.

Zoro leapt off the machine as Luffy and Nami got on. Taunts from Sanji were waved off with a dismissive hand, with nary a hint of the usual violence. For a fleeting moment, we locked eyes. Whoa, was Zoro blushing?!

Zoro gets SHY?!

The dam containing my emotions exploded. That's it. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell him how I felt.

"Zor-"

"Don't." 

Letting out a gruff huff Zoro stalked off before I could complete my confession.

"Zoro, where are you going?!" called Luffy mid-jump. Wow, Luffy is good at DDR.

"Gonna shoot some shit!" Zoro yelled back, storming towards Time Crisis. Should I go after him? I was sort of in the middle of something there. A step in, Nami tugged me back toward the machine in a flagrant request to help her cheat. 

Ah well. Guess it could wait.


	11. Family Mart

Okay, no more waiting.

The issue now, as it often was, was finding the man of the hour. Only twenty minutes or so had passed, I reckoned. I'd watched Nami demand for a rematch twice, checked in on the Bishi Bashi tournament, beat Sanji at racing, lost to Robin at racing... Hm, maybe it had been longer than twenty minutes.

Still, when I waded through all of Usopp's winning tickets and adoring fans to get to the Time Crisis machine, the now renowned marksman had said he hadn't seen Zoro, and he'd been there a while.

A long while, it seemed, looking at the thick throng of fans. One kid was even holding up a sign that said "God Usopp". When- How- Nevermind.

So where could Zoro have gone?

Damn it. He was probably lost, wasn't he. I should have known that would happen. Someone needed to slap a microchip on that man.

Wait. _I_ had a microchip on that man. My phone hopped dangerously from palm to palm as I lost my grip like a nervous dumbass. 

Zoro, Today, 1.26PM:  
where am i lol

CRAP, HE TEXTED ME FIVE MINUTES AGO. Okay, okay, don't panic, going to Find My iPhone...

Well that was easy peasy melon breezy, there! He's just across the street! Wait. Why was he all the way across the street? Nope, no time to analyse his choices. I pushed past the remaining Usopp worshippers and exited the arcade.

It was all I could do to bite back a laugh when I arrived to Zoro's location. He was at a Family Mart. What memories! It seemed like only yesterday that he told me he was at a 7-11 though he was at a Family Mart and then we went to a park where he picked a fight with a seven-year-old over a cat. Good times.

The familiar welcome tune harmonised with my chuckles as I hopped into the convenience store. Ooh, potato sticks. Maybe I should get Luffy a snack.

A gruff voice cut through the unobtrusive hum of air conditioning.

"They can fend for themselves pretty damned well. Try them." 

The voice was low, yet full of suppressed rage. That sounded like... Zoro. And it wasn't his usual annoyance when bickering with Sanji or yelling at Franky - this was serious. What's going on?

I snuck down the chip aisle to peer around the shelf. 

A group of men had Zoro surrounded. There were about five of them, all wide shoulders and imposing heights, facing away from me. Zoro's face was hidden from view, but the shock of green hair and scuffed boots were unmistakable. One of the men held three familiar swords hostage in his meaty paws. Fuck! 

Racuous laughter shook the tiny store. It sent a shiver down my spine. 

One of them wrapped a hand around Zoro's throat. A mistake. He was immediately thrown back, flying into his brethren like a bowling ball into pins. I could see Zoro clearly now. "Rage" would be inadequate to describe the expression on his face.

"Ha! We'll see if you can still be so energetic if we get that girl, huh?" The owner of the gravelly voice massaged his wrist. "Protecting your girlfriend in that fucking nerd store, you think you're some sort of hero or something?" The group guffawed. What the fuck was happening?!

The mocking laughs petered out as a man in a trenchcoat shuffled lazily toward his victim. A chill seemed to fall over the store. His voice dipped lower as he leaned in, hand on Zoro's shoulder. I strained to hear him. "That girl... Bet she's pretty fragile, huh? I could just... Snap. Her. In. Half."

My blood ran cold.

Zoro swung at the man's face, his fist connecting solidly with his nose with a crunch. A strangled groan. The man whipped back around to Zoro, hand on the bridge of his nose.

"Don't touch me, asshole," spat Zoro. I braced myself for a fistfight. Only a mirthless chuckle came.

"I won't hurt you, Roronoa Zoro." He sniffed, before swearing quietly. He seemed to stare at Zoro. I couldn't see his expression. "I just want you to hurt."

I resisted the urge to gasp. For a moment, just one, fleeting moment, Zoro looked almost... Scared. Then it was gone. His eyes glazed over again, no trace of the flicker of fear that had been there before.

"Girl's not my girlfriend," Zoro growled. "She's just some random my roommate picked up."

The men stood for a moment. One of them shoved him in the chest. He stood his ground with ease, glaring at them with distaste.

"We'll find your weakness, Roronoa. Just you wait."

Three swords crashed onto the clean floor, clacking noisily on the tile. The group turned to leave as Zoro knelt to retrieve his wooden companions. One of the men paused, towering over Zoro's bowed figure. 

"You really not with that chick? Heard she was pretty hot."

A beat. "She's not my type."

I turned and fled the store before anyone could see me.

Dusk warmed the streets in preparation for our arrival, deep purple shadows contrasting with lovely orange highlights from the radiance of the setting sun. Blithesome laughter danced in the air like bubbles, lifting the muggy air with its exuberance. It was almost comforting to walk along with the crew. My misery camouflaged in their joy like a field mouse in a pasture of tulips. 

Except I didn't feel much like a mouse. I just felt dead. Inside, I mean. 

"Hey." 

I suddenly found myself in step with Zoro. Of course. Fucking universe. He probably spotted us as we emerged from the arcade. I nodded a salutation. 

It was difficult to forget what was said earlier. Maybe it was dumb, but I was devastated. The hurt cut so deep it was like something was physically slashing at the pit of my chest. I suddenly felt cold. Sure, I wasn't his girlfriend. But not his type? So this whole time I was hanging around him, annoying him, harbouring a dumb one-sided crush on him when he was just trying to be polite to his roommate's friend. Never had I ever felt so stupid.

"Here," he continued, looking ahead. It was a stuffed fish. "'s not a bear, but I thought close enough."

I glanced up at his face. He was returning my gaze now, as if he couldn't help himself, a smirk playing on his lips. The fish looked soft, an adorable floppy bastard with doughy flappy fins in a calming pale cerulean, dwarfed by Zoro's huge palms. I loved it. I would have named it Scales. But my hands stayed where they were. Zoro frowned.

"Hey, you oka-"

"No thank you."

I could feel his eyes boring into my back as I wrapped my arms around myself and quickened my pace.


	12. Everyone Stop Texting Me

I didn't want to see Zoro again.

Okay, that was being a smidge dramatic. It just really wouldn't help my emotional state to see him right now. And it's fine. Our university is huge. There was no way we would accidentally run into each other, since we didn't share any classes today. For example, he did not show up to Introduction to Literature having memorised my schedule to come up to me in front of all my classmates and apologise as well as denounce everything he said in Family Mart with a bouquet of cookies in hand, or anything.

Not that I'd fantasized about that. To reiterate: I did not want to see him.

Although... We _did_ tend to bump into each other outside my classroom every Thursday at 12.50PM. He would be rushing to Lecture Hall 4 and I would be going to the cafeteria, and we would high five. Rain or shine. Even if I was talking to the TA. Even when he looked ruffled and lost. Especially when he looked ruffled and lost.

It wouldn't be me _wanting_ to see him if we ran into each other by accident, right?

Today was a Thursday. I checked my watch. 12.50PM. 

No sign of Zoro.

You know, one of my laces seems to be coming loose. I wonder what's up with that. Just going to retie them really quick... Oh, the right side doesn't match the left, let me redo that.

12.51PM. He's still not here.

Which. Is. Great! That's so great. I did not want to see him. ..Probably. No, no, go away, thoughts! Reminder, self! This was all one-sided liking on my part. I was "just some random" in his eyes. Ugh. Running the words in my head again did not numb me to the heartache they evoked. If anything, they fuelled my confusion over how exactly to interpret his actions. Like the texts he'd sent yesterday night, hours after I'd rejected the crew's dinner invitation fifteen times:

Zoro, Yesterday, 11.11PM:  
babysitting your fish lol 

This was followed by a photo of Scales sat next to a bottle of sake, atop what appeared to be the vast expanse of Zoro's empty desk, complete with blue condom packet in the blurry background. The photo was accompanied by the caption: "you better come get him or luffy will eat it".

The texts had been left on read.

Why was he being so charming?! Was this part and parcel of what people did for acquaintances these days? Or maybe... Had he changed his mind between those few hours? I didn't dare to hope. 

Ugh, that's it. Enough of this hesitating and back-and-forth. Why would he have said those things if he didn't mean them? I would be doing a disservice to myself if I kept up this charade, and if I couldn't get over my silly crush on him at this time then there were only two options: try to be a good, genuine friend, or have nothing to do with him.

And I'd made my choice.

The next day saw a concerted effort to show up to SOC-101 late. It was all I could do to avoid walking with him to class, or having any opportunity to make conversation outside the hall. This elaborate plan involved stopping for both a green tea and a skewer of meat at the opposite ends of the cafeteria. I know. It was a great plan.

My stomach churned. Chalking it up to buying grilled meats at 9 in the morning I trudged toward the lecture hall to arrive at the entrance exactly one minute after 9.

The doors groaned as I heaved against them. Luffy and gang were already seated at their unassigned assigned seats. A chair was left empty in between Luffy and.. the green swordsman. My usual seat. They had saved me my usual seat. Ugh, why did they have to be such good friends? My heart longed to give in.

No. Temptation was not getting me today. Tapping Franky on the shoulder, I handed him the uneaten skewer and gestured to Luffy. Franky obediently relayed the meat. I hurried down the steps to sit in the front row, far from the crew.

Bzzzt.

Nami, Today, 9.01AM:  
What are you doing?  


You, Today, 9.02AM:  
I'm sitting in front today

Nami, Today, 9.02AM:  
Well, come back.  
The chicken stick may have worked on Luffy, but Zoro's devastated.

You, Today, 9.02AM:  
I'm just sitting up front  
Don't be dramatic Nams  


Nami, Today, 9.02AM:  
Seriously. He's gone all silent.

You, Today, 9.02AM:  
He's always silent

Nami, Today, 9.02AM:  
It's different.

Bzzzt. What now?!

Chopper, Today, 9.03AM:  
are you and zoro ok???  
hes' SO SAD

You, Today, 9.03AM:  
I'm just sitting in front today! Everything's fine

Chopper, Today, 9.03AM:  
no its not  
zoro is DRINKING

You, Today, 9.03AM:  
So?? He's always drinking!

Chopper, Today, 9.04AM:  
itS NOT THE SAME!!!

Bzzzt. ARGH!

Sanji, Today, 9.04AM:  
Hey gorgeous could you move like two seats to your left  
I can't see your hair 

Finally, a reasonable text that wasn't about Zoro! Wait. Sanji what the fu-

Sanji, Today, 9.04AM:  
Oh also whats up with you and mossy  
He keeps looking at you

You, Today, 9.05AM:  
Oh, that is weird

Sanji, Today, 9.05AM:  
No that's the normal part  
It's his expression  
It's like. Blank

You, Today, 9.05AM:  
IT'S ALWAYS FUCKING BLANK

Sanji, Today, 9.06AM:  
Nah. Something's off with marimo  
Y'all fighting?

You, Today, 9.06AM:  
I'm no longer answering any of you guys' texts

I resolutely slammed my phone down on the shaky table attached to my chair. New plan: get through the lecture, leave by the front door so no one could speak to me, then hide in my dorm forever.


	13. Mystery Man

What was it about being sad that made you want to be sadder?

Here I was, sad as shit, the events of the arcade trip repeatedly surfacing in my mind like a swimming board refusing to be submerged, and there my brain was, being all, "Hey, you know what would make this feel better? Sad songs!"

Thanks, brain.

Now all I could manage was lying in bed listening to Lorde, trying to stop rereading Zoro's texts, hating myself, and moping over a mug of oatmeal because I thought it made sense to make oatmeal in a mug.

Don't get me wrong. I would have loved to be Zoro's friend. There was just the tiny problem of my crush on him not exactly being dead. And until I could effectively find a way to fully murder it, I did not trust myself to be a true friend. 

Though alternatively, if he liked me too...

Ugh, no! Back, demon thoughts!

Bzzzt.

Not again. Which member of the crew was it this time?

Zoro, Today, 11.37AM:  
youre mad at me  
did I do something?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Should I reply? Do I call him? What do I do?! Nope, no, I couldn't be trusted with this on my own. Dropping the phone into my backpack as if it was on fire, I shot out of my room like confetti from a cannon.

  
Why did Barto have to move to Sunny Hall of all places?

Sure, I got that the rodent infestation over at his dorm was no joke, but he could have chosen to live anywhere. What was wrong with Heart Hall? Caribou Hall? Hell, even Kuja was available.

Granted, that was a girls' dorm, but still.

Bart would never give up the opportunity to live within walking distance to his idol's actual living quarters. I knew that. In my panic I'd just forgotten that visiting him meant having to walk by Zoro's fucking dorm room. Knowing he could be in there, only a single thin wooden door between us, a twist of the knob away, was a thought I hated to entertain.

Speak of the door. Here it was: Sunny Hall, Room 505.

Fine, I missed Zoro. I missed him a lot. All the times I hung out with him in and out that room showed me multitudes hidden behind clichéd ideals and wooden swords. Seeming to sleep yet still saving me from being slammed facefirst into the windshield, declaring war with nerds in my defense, leaping off fire escapes to win a bet... 

Were these things really what you'd do for a random friend of a friend?

ACK! The door opened, the door is opening, oh my God, should I run away holy sh-

A man I didn't recognise emerged from the room, shutting the door behind him with a resounding click. A pallid visage peeked over the high collar of his long brown trenchcoat as eyes took me up and down with suspicion. Ironic. He might as well be wearing a matching brown hat and sunglasses, he was so shady-looking. Features rearranged themselves into a poor imitation of benevolence as he leaned on Luffy and Zoro's door handle. Something told me this wasn't a friend of either of theirs.

Seeing as he towered a good few inches over me, it was probably wise for me to go get help, and quick.

"You here for Roronoa Zoro?" the man folded down the collar to say. Jesus. It was hard to take my eyes off the mottled purple monster of a bruise plastered over his nose.

What a strangely specific question. A polite shake of my head, I tried to sidestep him.

An arm swung out to stop me in my tracks. My heart started beating so hard I thought it would rip out of my chest, like the alien in Alien. 

"You just standing out here staring at Roronoa's door for fun?" It was phrased like a playful jibe, but the smile on his face didn't quite reach his eyes.

Why was this random stranger so insistent on proving a relationship between me and Zoro? Something smelt like Luffy's week of salmon lunches: fishy. I didn't trust him. But it didn't seem like he was going to let me go without a satisfactory answer, either.

Plus, he was right. I was just sort of standing out here staring at the door.

"Actually, I'm here to, uh, see Luffy."

The man raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. Dammit. Even to my own ears I sounded like a liar.

Wait. I could prove it! Luffy's notes! The notes I didn't manage to hand to him at the arcade were still somewhere in my backpack. I rooted through the bag.

Aha! "Chapter 14, LUFFY" printed across in 18 pt font. Notes triumpantly raised in the air, I shrugged all-too-casually, trying to downplay my victory.

That's me. Your turn.

"What about you? Are you a friend of Zoro's?" I smiled innocently.

The cold chuckle that followed was deathly familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. With a flick of his coat the man turned and sauntered down the hallway, disappearing swiftly around the corner.

What in the fresh hell was this dude doing in their room? Hold up. What if...

Instinctively, I crouched to take a glimpse at their shoe rack. Fuck. _Fuck!_

Their key was missing.

Squeezed among the sea of flip-flops was an empty jam jar, with nothing sat under it. Oh God. Did this guy rob them?!

"What are you doing?"

JESUS CHRIST.

Hand to my chest as if it could calm my nerves, I glared up at the owner of the offending voice. Oh. I shot to my feet.

My heart thumped even harder. "I... It's... Your key got stolen." 

Zoro cocked an eyebrow in response. The empty hallway suddenly seemed so much more interesting than his annoyingly attractive face.

"There was, I dunno, a weird man coming out of your room, insisting I was here for you..." My voice trailed off. Was it my fault? Should I have detained the stranger while I called Luffy for backup?

Silence. Curious, I forced myself to glance back at Zoro.

Seething, he was glaring into the distance, the rage emanating off of him almost visceral in its intensity. His eyes suddenly locked onto mine. Massive hands suddenly shot out to grab my shoulders.

"Don't come back here to see me again."

What? _What the fuck?_ Defensive anger swelled within me like a bag of microwave popcorn. 

Sure, I was standing outside his room, and sure, I was reminiscing about everything we'd been through, and sure, maybe I still really liked him. But what the hell? I did nothing to indicate any of that! I'd stopped hanging with the crew! I even tried my best not to be on our group project Google Doc at the same time as him! What was this?!

"Screw you, man." With more force than I anticipated, I jerked my shoulders out of his grasp. "I wasn't here to fucking see you. That weirdo stopped me when I was walking by here to Bart's."

Could you believe the nerve of this guy? Unbelievable. I swiped at the wetness on my cheek. Huh. When did I start crying?

Zoro extended a comforting hand. "Hey, I..."

"I get it!" I interrupted, stepping out of his reach. "I'm nothing to you, I'm just some random Luffy picked up."

He stared at me for a beat. Realisation dawned. "You were there."

Hurt twisted in his words, weaving itself into the frown he always wore. What the hell did he have to feel hurt for? More tears welled up in my eyes. I wiped at them, annoyed. Traitors.

Heaving a deep sigh, he ran a hand through his hair. An arm wrapped around my shoulders as Zoro pulled me into his chest. He smelt like sandalwood and.. actual wood. It took everything within me to not burrow my face into him.

"Listen," he murmured. "You're-" A familiar buzzing from his pocket interrupted. Impatient, he pulled his phone out and gave it a cursory glance.

Not a second later, we were apart again. It was barely enough time for me to register what was happening, and it was over. His tone morphed into hardened resolve.

"You should go." His gaze did not leave the screen.

Right. Of course. I turned to leave him be.


	14. Get Over Yourself

Bzzzt. My phone buzzed to life as it charged for the first time in two days.

"Why is it a picture of Ben Wyatt?" The judgement in his tone was clear as day.

I cast a wistful look at my lock screen. "It reminds me that there's still good in the world."

Bartolomeo rolled his eyes so hard, I was concerned that his eyeballs would detach from their sockets and roll away. Excuse me. Pretty rich, coming from someone who was at that very moment wearing a CUSTOM LUFFY SHIRT. He left me no opportunity to voice this retort, storming up to my bed and ripping me from my cocoon of blankets and unwashed t-shirts. Hey! It took two days to construct this fort. Bet he was just jealous that I ended up not visiting his dorm and built this awesome fortress in my bed instead of his. I struggled in his strong grip.

"Get up. Ya can't lie in bed eatin' Doritos forever."

I gasped. They were _Fritos_. Annoyed, Bart reached to confiscate the 'itos. Determined fists jerked the bag away in defiance.

"Watch me!" An avalanche of crumbs cascaded into my mouth maniacally.

Bart snatched the mostly empty bag from my greasy fingers, spraying leftover crumbs everywhere. A deep sigh followed.

"I'm not lettin' ya rot away with mediocre snacks." The bag was tossed into the trash with a decisive rustle, with no regard for the indignant gasp that followed. I couldn't decide if I was more offended by the throwing or calling Fritos mediocre. "I ran inta God Usopp today. He said ya skipped soci. Why?"

Fuck, I'd been so busy feeling sorry for myself that I forgot about the weekend soci make-up tutorial. Usopp... Did my falling out with Zoro mean I lost the crew as friends too? Ugh! I'm not thinking about this! Instead of mulling over my problems I prodded an accusing finger at Bart's chest.

"Here's some soci for you, Barto Lemeo. Love is a social fucking construct." I finally managed to wrest my arm out of his grip and flung myself facedown onto my pillow. "Noffngh maffhhrs."

A deep sigh. Footsteps shuffled toward me. The edge of my bed dipped under his weight. "Traffic lights are a social construct. We still abide by 'em. That's soci 101."

He was right, and I knew it. It would be both erroneous and irresponsible to claim that actions didn't matter just because they were socially constructed; their impacts on society existed regardless of their origins. But logic had no place in my hurt right now. I just wanted to lie in my hill of dirty laundry and mope.

My face ground further into the pillow. Urgghhh.

A t-shirt landed by my face. "Get up and get dressed. We're goin' out."

Our university was located pretty damned near to a club, which was simultaneously the worst and best thing ever.

The good? You could pop into Altitude literally any time. The bad? You could pop into Altitude _literally_ any time.

And so here we were. It was a Sunday night, which meant the crowds also included people outside our university. Out-of-towners, people from other colleges, the regional debate team, Professor Oak, your mom, what have you. The dimly lit nightclub was so packed I could barely breathe.

But maybe that was from the shot of Fireball I downed upon entering. Or my cathartic gyrating in the middle of the dance floor.

Whatever. All that mattered was I was having fun, and not obsessing over being asked to get lost by someone I had major feelings for, right?

Bart grabbed at my arm for the third time that night. "Stay near, will ya?" His eyes flashed with anger at an unknown threat behind me. 

I felt bad. Here I was, having all the fun, while Bart was left as designated sober bodyguard for this. It wasn't fair. I gave him a light shove, putting some distance between us.

"I'll be fine!" I yelled over the music. "Go have fun!"

An inexplicable conga line immediately cut through the space between us. Bart tried to reach for me, but he was quickly swallowed by the crowd. The last I saw of him was the Luffy pin on his cap, sinking into the unknown. Godspeed, Barto. Godspeed.

I headed for the bar.

Who invented shottts? Love ya, bitch! Hold on was this a bass-boosted version of Mr Brightside? With "whoo!"s remixed into it? Nope, that's from the women cheering over Grasshopper shots. Whoa, Listerine factory.

Grasshopper shots are soooo green. Wonder if Zoro likes those.

No. Nononono. Today is _not_ about Zoro. Bart wanted me to have fun, so I'm going to have all the fun. Shut out all thoughts of Roronoa fucking Zoro.

Actually, some time had passed since I saw Bart... I didn't know how much time. Could have been an hour. Could have been five minutes. Enough time for me to completely lose my bearings. The music was weirdly muted here, probably some corner of the club? Wherever I was, it was definitely the place where losers hung out, since some loser ass dude kept advancing toward me. Like, ever heard of personal space?

"Hey," he crooned as I made eye contact.

His face was vaguely handsome, I guess. Not really my type. Deep V shirt. _Super_ deep V shirt. Strands of chest hair stared straight up at me like snails' eye stalks. Ew.

I shuddered. "Leave me alone."

"Aw, come on. Let me buy you a drink?" Snail Eyes seemed to wink at the bar behind me. Probably at the bartender. Not like, at the physical bar.

"Can you buy yourself a _butt_ and butt out of my personal space?"

Okay, not my best. Was I drunk?

He chortled. "You're fiesty. Come home with me." He reached for me. I yanked my arm out of the way. Don't touch me!

A hand grabbed my shoulder. Jesus Christ! Oh. A violent sigh of relief loosed from my mouth like an arrow from a bow as the familar figure hovered over me.

"Get off her," Barto warned gruffly. Narrowed eyes locked onto mine in a glare.

Crap, Bart is totally mad at me.

Mr Snail titled his chin up at Bart in a challenge, like a petulant child protesting bedtime. "What are you, her boyfriend or something?"

"That'd be me." A deep voice cut through like butter through knife. Bu- Knife throu- Wait. I knew that voice. My head snapped up so quickly I almost gave myself whiplash. Roronoa fucking Zoro.

Zoro grabbed my face with a hand so loving, so gentle, that for one second, just one second, I wavered in my staunch belief that he was putting on a show for the audience.

"You okay, babe?"

That sobered me up quick. It barely registered when Snail Eyes scoffed at the display and stalked off in a huff. What the hell was Zoro doing here?

Zoro ran a tentative thumb over my cheek. I resisted the urge to lean into his palm. It would be a lie if I said I wasn't tempted to milk this for all it was worth, for as long as I could. But no. The time had come to give him a piece of my damned mind. I slapped his hands off of my face.

Turning, I ordered two shots at the bar.

"Took ya long enough," Bart hissed. His protectiveness over me made him feel a negative emotion toward one of his heroes? Toward the guy he kept a manila folder of kendo championship newspaper clippings of?? Awww, Bart! I could practically _feel_ him wincing on the inside. Your sacrifice is seen and appreciated, dear friend of mine. I downed both shots.

Zoro ran a guilty hand through his hair. "There was traffic," he lied.

"Traffic?!"

I psyched myself up for confrontation. You can do it! Empty glasses slammed onto the bar top. 

"I'm not your girlfriend I'm just a random classmate, remember?!" Zoro and Barto's eyebrows all shot up at my sudden rant. "You're always protecting me like I'm some sort of damsel in distress. Fuck you! I'm not always in distress! I don't always need protecting!"

Zoro paused. We stared at each other for a moment, my chest heaving from the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Also probably from downing two shots of tequila at once.

"I... You're right. You don't need protecting." He stared into the distance before slowly turning back, looking at me as if he had experienced sort of epiphany.

Oh. That was easy.

"Right! Exactly!" I pointed at his nose emphatically. 

My outstretched finger inched closer to his face. It kept going. No stopping this train now. Boop.

Zoro looked excessively displeased at having his nose booped. He seized the transgressional digit and turned to Bart. "I'm taking her back to dorms."

My pretty fancy heeled boots stomped into a puddle on the asphalt, sending rainwater everywhere. I didn't know it rained today. A particularly brutal gust of wind chilled my cheeks. Luckily my cropped top clad torso was kept marshmallow toasty by the biggest bomber jacket that had ever graced my shoulders, courtesy of one, for some reason, very amused Roronoa Zoro.

Ha ha Roronoa Zoro. Funny name. Ro ro no a Zo ro.

"Ro-ro-no-a. Zooooooh rooooooh."

"Yes ma'am."

He looked so _dishy_ under these streetlamps. All sharp angles and wavy hair. Jawline that could cut a snake. It should be banned.

"Did you know? Handsome," I stated. The world spun in a circle around me for dramatic effect. "Is illegal."

A car zoomed past me, so close my hair flipped into my eyes. Whoa.

Suddenly Zoro and I had switched places. Now he was walking closer to the road, when just one second ago, I swear _I_ was walking closer to the road. Was Zoro..a magician?

That's not allowed. I had to tell him. We stopped short as I lay my hands on both his shoulders.

I looked him dead in his honeyed brown irises. "You're under arrest."

The softness in his eyes betrayed his indifferent expression. "What'd I do, officer?"

"Too handsome." Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Also, illegal magic! You cannot do magic outside of Hogwarts!"

The resulting smirk switched gears into a chuckle. A rough ruffle to my hair. Hey. I swatted the offender away. This hair took me a good five minutes to brush.

The hand moved to cradle my face gently. I blinked. Suddenly the world shifted into focus. Green hair gently blew in the wind in seeming slow motion, glinting in the streetlights. Eyes the colour of crisp autumn leaves bore into mine as if searching for an answer to questions unasked. We stood face-to-face on the rough tarmac, all alone, the full moon our only witness.

Would he be mad if I kissed him right now?

Another car raced by. The moment shattered. Almost reluctantly he took his hand off my face and we continued our trek back to campus.


	15. Got Over Himself and Now He Doesn't Know What to Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shy boi hours

The doors to the lecture hall creaked open to a scene too bright and too chaotic for my hangover.

An empty lunchbox flew across the pop-up arena. It collided with a wooden sword before plummeting to the floor. "Who're you calling a dumbass, shitty cook?"

Sanji held a hand over his brow as if blocking out an imaginary sun, pretending to look far into the distance. "Oh, I don't know, who could it be?" He dropped the act to jab an accusing finger at Zoro's scowl. "Who else, Mosshead?! The _hero_ who tried to handle everything on his own and almost got our princess killed trying to "protect" her! How's that going, Super Leafman?!"

"Super _Leafman_?"

Franky tutted and scatched a notch on the scoreboard in his notebook. Point Zoro.

This time a full lunchbox soared over the bored audience in retaliation. Zoro caught the container with one hand before it could crash land onto his face and smoothly handed it over to Luffy, who accepted the offering while cleaning out the one in front of him, like a conveyor belt. Swords clanked on Zoro's waist as he vaulted over a chair. Except Franky, who had a whistle hanging from his neck, no one batted an eyelid at the ensuing fistfight.

"Now she hates you huh, Marimonoa?" Sanji taunted, blocking a fist to the nose. "Guess she's mine now!"

An elbow narrowly crashed into his jaw in response.

None of my business. I tried to sneak past to head for the front row, only for Nami to grab my arm. "Oh no you don't," she deadpanned, pulling me into the seat next to her, eyes never leaving her magazine.

At the sound of Nami's voice, Sanji glanced out of the battle zone. Spotting me immediately he blew a kiss from the headlock he was in, earning him an elbow to the cranium. Zoro whipped up to glare at the source of his opponent's distraction. We locked eyes. The scowl decorating his features fell off almost instantaneously, like a shittily Blu-tacked poster. Sanji took the chance to shove Zoro's paralysed form off him.

I winced. My hangover really wasn't helping me deal with this.

Coach Franky slung an arm around Sanji's shoulder while handing him a bottle of water, while Zoro just stared at me, his expression unreadable. Before I could attempt to decrypt his blank countenance Zoro swiftly looked away, finding the scuffed floor to be all of a sudden worthy of detailed examination as he made his way to his seat.

Luffy spotted me over his macaroni salad and waved.

"Over here!" he garbled. My eyes darted to what he was gesturing wildly at. The seat in between him and... Ah fuck. Sensing my hesitation, I was poked in the back with what felt like a sword but was probably a manicured Nami talon.

Fine. I got up and made my way to the Throne of Awkward, slowing my pace to delay the inevitable. It did not work. I sat. The moment my butt touched the chair the tension between Zoro and I made itself known, stretching tightly over us like a rubber band ready to snap. Zoro buried his face in his notes, as if he read things with his nose three centimetres from the page. His brows were so furrowed I was concerned he would pull a muscle.

He had never been awkward around me before. What was this? And more importantly, was this.. Kind of cute? My heart began to race before my brain could decide. Traitor. Why wouldn't this dumb crush go away already?

Ah perfect, a momentary distraction. Attendance sheets had made their way to our row, awaiting our signatures. I signed Luffy's name for him before printing my own, and shoved them in front of Zoro.

Zoro flinched.

Whoa. Why was he so high-strung today? He frowned at me over his notes with all the cautious annoyance of an old man looking out at his yard from the window through a gap in the curtains. I tapped the attendance sheets with an eyebrow raised. Narrowed eyes flicked down to the folder and back up at me. His Highness did not deign to accept the papers from me.

"Do you want me to sign for you..?" I offered, miming writing with my pen.

Zoro grunted, notes already raised back up. What was he, a disgruntled dad with the morning paper?! Was I to take that as assent or not! In revenge I messily scrawled a rudimentary penis next to his name.

I turned to hand the folder to the back row, where I was greeted by a wall of laptops and books. No one was paying any attention to me, apart from Chopper, who happened to be seated all the way down the row. Arms outstretched, he attempted to retrieve the file from me. Nope. We struggled cosplaying The Creation of Adam for ten seconds before a frustrated exhale sounded and the file was snatched from my hands, then shoved into Chopper's. I caught a glimpse of pink dusted cheeks before the papers shot back up.

Why was Zoro hiding from me?? We should probably settle this. There was a final project to work on together, after all. But what do I say to him? In his current state any attempt to make conversation would be slam dunked into the floor. And he would definitely get defensive and balk if I asked him if something was wrong. It had to be short, and it couldn't be a question. I racked my brains. Got it.

I yanked his papers down. The resulting look of alarm took even me by surprise. "Hey. Be normal."

The shock on his face turned to offense. "I am," he huffed.

My eyes raked over the papers clutched in his hands. "Those notes have been upside down the entire time."

He looked down at the notes. I looked down at the notes. A beat.

He cleared his throat. "It's.. It's training. Kendo training."

"Training. To read upside down. For martial arts."

"Yes," the dedicated swordsman mumbled with an unjustifiably indignant frown, arms folded. A finger tapped on his muscled bicep. "It's a valued skill."

His vaguely embarrassed eyes met my expectant ones for a microsecond before he quickly looked away. Ugh. We were getting nowhere. Our professor neatened the attendance sheets on her table with a clack, calling the class to attention. Guess Zoro and I weren't going to be settling this today.

Prof shot our row an unamused look over the tops of her glasses.

"Very funny, Mr Roronoa." Zoro's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Prof raised the attendance sheets. "Since you're in such a playful mood today, how about you summarise this week's reading for us?"

Zoro quirked an eyebrow, perplexed, before flipping his notes open.

Whoops.

"All right, that's it for today. Thanks guys."

Lecture always left me overwhelmed, yet like I could change the world if I tried. Education is truly beautiful. Dizzied, I rose to my feet to leave. A hand gripped my arm to ground me. Whoa.

Intense eyes bore into mine as I glanced down. The rest of the class streamed out of the lecture hall behind us. In response to my questioning stare Zoro stood, towering over me like the sexiest building on the planet. God, I forgot how tall he was.

"I.. Shouldn't have said all that crap last time." Zoro rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. "Sorry."

He was probably referencing the Family Mart Incident. Much as it hurt, did he really owe me an explanation? I sighed.

"Listen, you don't have to apologise for saying the truth. If it's what you mean, then..." I shrugged, as if saying "so be it". My heart twinged. Didn't mean it wouldn't hurt though.

"Yeah," he responded, tightening his grip on my arm. Passion flared behind his eyes as he pulled me microscopically closer to his muscular form. "So I'm sorry."

I rolled my eyes. What did I just say? If it was what you meant, then there's no need to say you're sor- WAIT.

Panicked, my gaze snapped up to scan his expression. It was serious as ever, maybe even more serious than usual. Zoro's eyes bore into mine, as if they were trying to convey a message that I was too thick to understand. Maybe I _was_ too thick to understand it. Did he mean what I thought he meant? That we weren't just acquaintances? That I was..His type??? Just thinking it sounded absurd! But what else could he mean?! Argh! This was too much. I needed time to process it.

Shaking off his grip I turned and bolted for the door.


	16. It's Kind of Like the Telephone Game, But Not at All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> filler

Zoro realised pretty quick that I wasn't going to be talking to him for a while. Again. That did not stop him from trying.

The first thing he'd noticed was that I wouldn't open texts if his name was on the notification. The second was that I would not be able to resist opening Chopper's texts, in the hopes of seeing photos of the fat cat that lived near the med building.

Chopper, December 31, 1.32PM:  
hey. come on

You, December 31, 1.32PM:  
Chopper?  
Is this about the kitty

Chopper, December 31, 1.32PM:  
that was zoro!!!!  
i don't have a pic of chonky today ): IM SO SORRY  
THIS IS ZOROS FAULT!!!!!!! ))))))))):

Zoro texts did not come via Chopper's phone again. The next day my phone buzzed with 62 images of Chonky eating out of a can of fancy cat food that I was adamantly informed came from Zoro's pocket. 

Zoro gave up immediately, and I never heard from him again.

Just kidding. As if.

Luffy, January 1, 12.58PM:  
we should talk

You, January 1, 12.58PM:  
Luffy?

Luffy, January 1, 12.58PM:  
no.  
Yup?  
wha  
luffy  
you said i could use your phone to text her  
Oh. Oops.  
The desktop app pinged me!  


You, January 1, 12.59PM:  
Oh my God  
Zoro stop doing this

Luffy, January 1, 12.59PM:  
then talk to me

You, January 1, 12.59PM:  
No!!

Luffy, January 1, 12.59PM:  
Are you guys fighting? o:

You, January 1, 1.00PM:  
No

Luffy, January 1, 1.00PM:  
no

It all came to a dramatic end during tutorial that week.

The chairs were arranged in its usual massive circle. The crew occupied nine consecutive seats, snaking around the room. Zoro sat on one end, and I the other. I made sure of that by waiting for him to sit his butt down and then _sprinting_ ten seats away. Don't judge. I do what I have to do. Still, I had a clear view of him from my seat. Luckily, he was too busy scribbling in a notepad to notice me staring. Unluckily, I found his focus incredibly hot. Hey, just because I wasn't ready to talk to him yet didn't mean I was blind to his obvious good looks.

As if on cue to stanch the flow of sinful thoughts our TA clapped to get our attention.

"I just think that self-feeding cycles are one of the basic tenets of Judith Butler's concept of performative gender."

"And I agree."

"Then why did you say no?"

I looked at Robin incredulously. "Because I don't think she or any gender academics have ever referred to her work as 'Judthism'."

Robin opened her mouth in a retort, only to be stopped by Usopp tapping her on the shoulder. He handed her a slip of notepaper that looked a little worse for wear. She scanned its contents, focused expression unwavering, before penning down a response.

"Here you go."

Huh? Instead of returning it to Usopp, she was holding it out to me. Confused, I accepted the delivery. The paper was heavily creased and had grease spots in the corner, but was clearly a fresh sheet newly torn from a notebook. On the top of the note was my name, written in Zoro's familiar scrawl.

I unfolded the slip of paper.

_hey. stop avoiding me. -z_

Shit. My heart lurched. Zoro... Hold on, why was "me" underlined in a different pen?

_me: meat -luffy_

_at: AT-AT -fr_

_thats cheating franky >:( -c_

A conflicting series of emotions ripped through me like a Powerpoint slideshow speedrun. _What?!_ What the hell was in my hands right now? Why the _hell_ were they playing Shiritori?????

_Sorry. at: attentiv_

_oi stop writing in this. just pass it to her_

_er: Ergo -Brook_

_go: GOOD JOB, LOSER lmao -sanji  
To add on, at my beloved Nami's request I will be ending my sentence with cake_

_ke: Key \- Nami_

_ey: eyyyy macarena oh shit right eyebrow -usopp_

_ow: Ow! I got stabbed. - Robin_

I stared at the note. Slowly leaning to look at the crew, I held the paper aloft. "What the fuck?"

Silence fell over the room. Everyone's eyes were on me, curious at my sudden outburst. Fuck. I didn't realise I'd said that aloud. Heat rushing to my face I muttered an apology and leapt to my feet, gesturing in the vague direction of the door as a heads up to our TA. The door clicked shut behind me as I slipped into the hallway, paper still crumpled in my hand.

Guess I was going to the bathroom now.

When I got back, a familar figure was leaning against the wall outside the classroom, waiting. He looked up as I neared.

There was no avoiding him this time.

"Hey." Zoro's deep voice sent a shiver down my spine. He put a hand on my head. What! I was about to reach up and chase him off, before noticing the knowing look in his eyes, like we were sharing an inside joke. He broke into a triumphant smirk and ruffled my hair.

"Be normal."

WOW. The _audacity_. I glared up at him. Not a second later we both descended into silly giggles. We were both acting like such dumbasses. Zoro and I were friends, first and foremost. Why did that have to change? Our eyes met for a long moment, the energy thrumming between us seeming to convey an unspoken message we both already understood. As if he couldn't help himself, he reached out and ruffled my hair once more. He jerked his head toward the classroom door. Time to go back.


	17. zoro kikes yo u

"Why are you studying here and not the library?" Usopp asked, casually picking up an apple that I had brought along with me.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded, wrestling my fruit back from him. "The library's closed today. They're fumigating to get rid of the rats."

"What?" Zoro frowned as I balanced the apple on his phone that he'd placed on the table prior to this conversation. "Luffy's there right now."

Once he finished his sentence, it immediately sank in that Luffy had barrelled into the library in spite of the obvious signs thanks to.. just who he was as a person. A tense silence followed. I did not recognise its significance, but it was clear that the whole Straw Hat crew did. Finally, Zoro slammed a hand on the table and stood.

"Fine. I'll go." Heavy boots proceeded to clomp their way out the student lounge. Sticking his hands in his pockets, he turned to throw me an expectant look.

I pointed at myself incredulously.

"Or hang out with them if you want."

Chopper had whipped out some cotton candy from his backpack and was waving it at me. Sanji had stretched out on the table across from mine, a hand supporting his head and the other patting the empty space in invitation. A bite was taken out of my apple. Usopp looked at me guiltily. 

Okay then. I hurried to catch up with Zoro's already retreating form.

  
An uncomfortable silence hung between us as we walked along. 

Silences weren't uncommon with us, but they were usually more of the "this is cool and comfortable" variety, and not this.. this monstrous ball of unspoken sexual tension. That's right, I said it. _Sexual tension_. I liked him, I knew that, and honestly it really seemed that he liked me too. 

Perhaps one would claim that was presumptuous, but one was not there with us at the lift lobby where we both reached for the lift button at the same time and inadvertently touched fingertips, causing us to yank our hands back as if the button had revealed itself to be a poison dart frog. I sexily choked on my own spit and Zoro cleared his throat for a full fifteen seconds. Neither of us noticed when the doors opened. The losers carrying stacks of paper waiting for us to step aside were none too pleased about that.

So yes, I had used my superior observational prowess to deduce that Roronoa Zoro likely returned my crush.

... Fine, and Sanji told me. In a typo-ridden text. I think they were in a fistfight at the time.

So here we were now, walking side by side, me acutely aware of every single movement he was making as if a 3D rendering of him was implanted into my cerebral cortex, him striding stiffly as if he forgot how legs worked. It was when a squirrel ran across the path and I didn't yell "squirrel!" that Zoro snapped. An annoyed noise of frustration escaped him as he stopped in his tracks. Grabbing my wrist, he spun me to face him. My heart started to race.

"I can't take this anymore. I'm just gonna say it." Zoro scanned my face, his usual frown softened by anticipation. "Do you like me?"

I felt my eyes widen. What?! WHAT?! WELL, I NEVER. What was this?? Was he trying to get me to confess to him first?! An evil man with a devious plan! What should I _do_ what should I _say_-

"I'm asking because I like you."

Oh.

My heart crashed around my chest like a moth at a lamp. In fact it was pumping so hard now I feared for the safety of my aortas. Oh my God, this was really happening. Look at his dumb handsome face, of course I like you too. Wait, say that aloud. I opened my mouth to reply.

"I-"

"Captain Roronoa!"

Both of us whipped around at the cracked voice. A kendo gi-clad student was panting heavily, hair mussed up with sweat. He struggled to catch his breath.

"Fire- Fire at the dojo!"

"Again?" Zoro scowled, irritated at the interruption. "We just got a new fire extinguisher, use that."

The kendo junior shook his head. "No, Captain! It's not the gis this time." His panicked eyes were pleading. "We think someone set fire to the dojo. Please come quick."

Zoro dropped my wrist. Without another word he started in the direction of the kendo dojo.

"Captain..." The junior's voice shook with uncertainty. "It's left..."

With a pained groan Captain Roronoa screeched to a halt and did a 180, soles kicking up dust as he sprinted.

  
The burning was mostly contained in a corner by the time we got there. Constant streams of water were hosing it down, slowly but steadily squelching it into soggy char. Smoke drifted about the scorched hall. The floors were blackened and peeling. Ghosts of flames imprinted on the walls, emblazoned across the wood like a ten-year-old's approximation of what fire looked like. Firemen and kendo students were scattered around the area rushing around with their hoses and equipment, yet an eerie quiet seemed to settle over the dojo. 

Zoro couldn't take his eyes off the scene. His chest heaved, fists clenched so painfully tight the veins in his forearm throbbed. Seeing him this way tugged at my heart in a whole different way than it had just moments earlier. Without thinking I reached out to hold his arm. 

He drew a breath. A warm, calloused hand clasped over mine. I gave it a tentative squeeze. Zoro returned the gesture, gaze remaining on the burnt dojo.

"Roronoa." A burly man in a firefighter's bunker gear lumbered toward where we were standing. A hefty palm patted Zoro on the back, with less vigour than I suspected he would usually use to greet the swordsman. This man was probably in charge around here, judging from his commanding air. 

"We've got this under control, buddy. Don't you worry."

"Was anyone hurt?" 

He shook his head. "No. 'Least there's that." He offered Zoro a wan smile.

Zoro nodded tersely in response. A beat.

"Was it arson." It was far from a question.

The fireman rubbed a hesitant hand on the back of his neck. "We are suspecting some sort of accelerant, yes."

What?! Holy shit. Someone really set fire to the kendo dojo?! Holy fucking shit. How? _Why?_ Zoro only nodded, jaw clenched, as if he had expected no other conclusion. Suddenly, he turned to face me.

"Hey." His voice was lower than usual. "Call Luffy, will you?"

I finally managed a good look at Zoro's expression. Fuck, he looked so tired, like he was carrying the world's burdens on his shoulders. I was overcome by desperation to say something, do anything, wipe the fatigue off his face and tell him I was here for him, so he'd never have to feel like he had to deal with anything alone again.

Zoro must have interpreted my pause for unwillingness, because he added, "Please?"

Right. Snap out of it. Scrambling to retrieve my phone I punched in Luffy's contact and hit call. I raised the phone to Zoro's face. He reached over and set it on speakerphone.

"What's up?" Luffy's familiar voice crackled from the other end.

"Luffy, it's Zoro. They set fire to the dojo."

The briefest of pauses ensued. 

"On our way."


	18. Don't Date a 16-Year-Old If You're 22

"Wait, what?! People have been wanting to fight you?!"

"That's what you're confused about?" Chopper scoffed, a dismissive hand flopping in the air like a rapidly deflating balloon. "Please!"

Usopp pinched the bridge of his nose. "Chop. Earlier you were convinced that they would attack us with psychic powers."

Chopper's frown was so deep it changed the shape of his face. "PSYCHIC SOUNDS LIKE SIDEKICK."

"Could we get back on topic here?" interjected Franky, who had laid his hands on Zoro's shoulders in a bid to comfort him. He did not notice Zoro's mild annoyance at this touching show of camaraderie. "They went for the dojo. We don't know what, or who, is next."

"Next"? This wasn't a one-off crime?! Hold on, hold on, so this whole time I had let our romance take centre stage, when the whole time we were embroiled in some sort of yakuza crime plot?!

Sanji rolled his eyes at my unintentional outburst. "They aren't yakuza. Not all gangsters are yakuza."

I looked up at him in disbelief. Wow. You are so right, Sanji. I'm glad someone around here has their priorities straight. 

"So who are they?" I tightened my grip on Zoro's hand. Did I just... Not see this all happening around me? I was such an idiot. "What's happening?" 

"That's obvious," Chopper patted me on the shoulder. "But Zoro! You should still recap for us what is happening!" Usopp attempted to tackle Chopper, only for him to squirm out of his reach and hide behind Zoro. Worried kendo club members cast alarmed looks in our direction. 

Zoro let out a resigned sigh. "Can we do this somewhere else?"

  
"Okay, so let me get this straight. You are currently being targeted by some sort of gang, lead by someone called Whitewind, because you somehow offended his younger brother _Turmid_?"

"Turmald," Robin corrected, tapping the complex diagram on the whiteboard behind her. Zoro nodded slowly, his arms folded.

A barely stifled snort came from the back of the room.

"Hey! No laughing!" called Franky. "People don't get to choose their names."

I raised an eyebrow at him. Is that so, Cutty Flam?

Luffy clasped his hands behind his head, looking thoughtful. He twisted his swivel chair to face Zoro. "So what's your plan for dealing with this Windy guy?"

The crew followed his gaze. It was now Zoro's turn to look thoughtful.

"Well, I was thinking..." His eyes narrowed. "I'd punch him in the face."

Various groans bounced around the small study room. I buried my head in my hands. Of course. Diving headfirst into danger fists ablazin' was just what one would expect of Mr Let's Turn This Potentially Dangerous Situation Into An Excuse To Get Some Kendo Training In.

Luffy had his eyes shut, deep in thought. He hummed. His eyes snapped open. "All right good plan, let's go with that."

"Luffy!" The crew's disbelieving shouts drew concerned looks from the people walking by the glass doors. Luffy and Zoro both adopted stubborn frowns, confused by the dissenting uproar. My God. The two of them truly shared one brain cell in the most crucial of times.

Robin crossed her arms. "I don't know, Luffy. Whitewind isn't an easy target."

Tense music seemed to start playing at the mere mention of the name, as if BGM was needed to further stress the danger of the situation.

"His gang is huge; he's got members all over our city. They're relentless. Assault, harrassment, arson... The victims he targets usually either give in to his requests or skip town entirely." The nerve-racking melody swelled to a crescendo as Robin shook her head slowly, trying to think. "I don't think anyone has taken on Whitewind and won."

Haunting notes were the only sound for a beat as everyone let the new information sink in. Nami whacked Brook on the arm. Chords twanged to a halt. "Stop playing!"

"It's for the atmosphere Ms Nami!" whined Brook, rubbing at his shoulder. Nami leapt to wrestle the lute from him. A scuffle ensued.

Ignoring the violence before him, Sanji held up a hand. Robin called on him. "You said requests?" She nodded. Sanji cocked a swirly brow in Zoro's direction. "They ask you for anything, Mossy?"

Hesitation sucked the usual venom from his responding glare like a Dementor. The pause stretched on. It was clear that Zoro did not want to discuss this.

"Zoro?" prompted Luffy.

Zoro immediately relented. "Kid brother has a crush. They want her," he jerked a head at me, "to go out with him."

All eyes were on me as this new piece of information sunk in. Oh no. What if we acquiesed to that request? Would I end up being married to someone called Turmald? I cringed at the thought.

A muscled arm found its way around my shoulder. Tightening his grip Zoro pulled me closer to his chest. "'s not gonna happen," he growled.

He had meant it to be comforting, but the undercurrent of anger in his tone was palpable, his gruff threat echoing around the walls of the small room. In a bid to ease the tension I playfully elbowed him in the side.

"Hey, you didn't consult me, maybe I'd date him." A suggestive smirk sealed the deal.

The rage dissipated instantly. The muscles in his forearm visibly relaxed as Zoro shot me a long suffering look. I thought this unfair, considering he hadn't been suffering me all that long. He poked me in the forehead. I swatted at him blindly, missing his finger by a mile.

"You don't want him," he deadpanned, bored. "He's like, sixteen."

Oh. I crinkled my nose. Ew.

"Plus he's Whitewind's brother, hello?" Usopp wrung his hands and shot their captain a pleading look. "Luffy, we can't take him and his gang head on! He even burgled your dorm, remember?!"

What? So that shady ass trenchcoat guy was Whitewind? And he really robbed them?!

"He didn't even take anything! Just messed up the place real bad," huffed Luffy, arms akimbo.

"Took my condom..." muttered Zoro under his breath. I whipped around to judge him. He scowled at my thumbs down.

"What about that time he cornered Zoro in a 7-11?!" Usopp pulled at the skin on his cheeks in horror. "They cornered ZORO! He wields THREE SWORDS!"

The tension in Zoro's arm returned. Wait a minute. Those scary Family Mart people..? Everything finally clicked into place like a four-piece puzzle. That pale man in the brown coat, exiting the dorm room that wasn't his, looking for some sort of proof to tie me to Zoro, the mottled bruise across his face... I'd met Whitewind. My blood ran cold. Oh my God. I'd stared danger in the face and... waved Luffy's notes at it.

Before anyone could say anything Zoro's phone buzzed with a text. Moving so fast his hands were a blur he swung the phone to his face to read the message. Guess he was more on edge than I thought. Everyone crowded over to glance down at the screen.

"It's one of my kendo juniors," he murmured.

"Captain Roronoa we found a note in one of the equipment closets outside," read Chopper aloud. Below the message was a photo of what looked to be the back of a flyer with some words scribbled on it in black marker. Zoro tapped at the image to zoom in on the text. On the note was a date for sometime next week, and then the words: "1900 hrs. Who's next, Roronoa?"

The crew exchanged glances. This was a clear threat. A taunt, even. I looked over at Zoro. His jaw was clenched as he glared at his screen, the fury pouring from his being so overwhelming that Chopper pried the offending phone from his clutches in a bid to rescue it. Luffy put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Zoro. We can handle this," promised the captain, slapping his swordsman in what was probably meant to be a comforting pat. "We'll just go find him and punch him right now."

Nami rolled her eyes. "No!" She waved off her annoyance before propping a triumphant hand on her hip. A scheming look crept onto her face. "I have a plan."


	19. Dating Start!

The plan was a multi-location stake-out. Every aspect of Zoro's life could be the victim of the next attack, so we were to split up into groups and lie in wait for Whitewind. 

"Zoro doesn't have much going on in his life. Should be easy."

He had frowned at this. No retort came forth.

Everyone was assigned a location: their dorms, his thesis advisor's office, the dojo, just in case. Zoro, Luffy and I were assigned... My room?

"I don't know, Nams." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't think Whitewind would come to my dorm. He thinks we aren't close."

"That's where the second part of my plan comes in!" Strategist Nami clicked her fingers. "We show him that you guys are dating."

Zoro choked. I quirked an eyebrow at him. Hm? Okay, but we were together. Acting like we were dating wouldn't be the difficult part. My concern was more how Whitewind would know it.

"Ha!" teased Luffy around a mouthful of cheese toastie. "The problem is getting them to NOT show they're dating, AM I RIGHT GUYS?!" He slapped his knee in mirth.

Ignoring the taunt I opened my mouth to voice my concerns. Nami wasn't listening. Zoro was saying something to her in a voice too low for me to hear, especially over Luffy's continued cackling, undeterred by the fact that everyone else was too busy going over their stake-out plans to pay any attention to his stand up routine.

"You guys hold hands!" hissed Nami, her face twisted in disbelief. What? Zoro responded with only a mask of immense annoyance, folded arms, and a refusal to meet anyone's eyes.

She raised a hand impatiently. "Fine, whatever. Just- When you're in public, PDA like you've never PDA'd before."

Zoro proceeded to cough up a lung. Wow, I didn't know he was that shy about stuff like that. Luffy clapped him on the back, forgetting that he had sandwiches in his hands. I felt crumbs scatter on my face. Never had I ever felt more like a pigeon.

In response to my displeased look Luffy crammed what was left of the toasties into his mouth and wiped a hand on his pants. Said hand reached out to help ruffle breadcrumbs from my head. No! I waved his greasy fingers off before he could touch me. He saluted an apology and pranced toward Sanji, presumably to demand for more grilled cheeses. 

Doing my best impression of a post-bath dog I gave my head a thorough shake. There. That should rid me of all food bits. I looked to Zoro for confirmation with a questioning thumbs up. Ridding the last vestiges of his hacking with a cough that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle, he strode into my personal space and ran his fingers through a lock of my hair. They came away with a crumb. I titled my head to glimpse at his face. We locked eyes. One second. Two seconds. Maybe more. Suddenly, as if a thought just struck him, Zoro recoiled from me like a spring, a hurried "sorry" leaving his lips in a breath. Huh? I tried to narrow the two feet gulf that spawned between us, but a sudden awkward hand thrusted in front of my face thwarted the attempt. It shifted to my head. Pat. Pat.

Nami shot us a disgusted look as Zoro robotically retracted his hand. "None of... Whatever the hell that was. Please really sell it. I suspect someone's been watching us."

What? I felt a chill run through my spine. That's so creepy. Were they watching us right now? As if she didn't just drop this bombshell on us Nami clasped her hands together in finality. We snapped to attention.

"Now get dating."

  
Hand-in-hand we ambled through automatic doors, its cheery chime welcoming us into the warm interior.

An innocent shelf bore the brunt of Zoro's disgruntled frown. "Why do we always end up here," he muttered under his breath. Family Mart's bright white lights illuminated his handsome scowl almost defiantly. 

"I want to eat the best snack at the movies..." My voice trailed off as I scanned the rows of potato chips. Hm. They seemed to be out of stock.

With a noisy crinkle a bag was unceremoniously deposited on my head. My hands scrabbled to retrieve it. Mentaiko potato chips! How did he know?! I smiled up at Zoro with unrestrained delight, awed at his psychic abilities. 

Zoro looked surprised. His eyes turned gentle for a brief moment before he cleared his throat and turned away. "You never shut up about them," he mumbled to the magazine rack.

God, he's so cute. It was hard to believe he was mine now. I threw my hands around his muscular arm like a limpet to a rock. Mm his arm was so solid. It was like hugging a tree. My cheek moved to rub against his bicep of its own violition. Two seconds of bliss was all I was allowed before he eased me off his arm, a deep flush dusting his cheeks.

What? My eyes flicked downward. Oh. Did he not like my boob on him?? I thought he would appreciate it, but I guess I'd underestimated his reservations about PDA. Before I could take a step back to give him some space I was tugged closer, almost colliding into his chest. He leaned in to my face. My heartbeat turned erratic. Wait, was he-

"Whitewind's guy, on your six," he whispered in my ear.

I sucked in a breath. Crap. Nami was right, we were being watched. Her instructions echoed in my head. Righty-ho. Time to give 'em a show.

Lifting myself on my tip-toes I thrusted my face into his lips, stealing a cheek kiss from the swordsman. He jerked back in alarm. That should do it! My eyes darted to indicate the spy behind me, but Zoro wasn't looking at him. I felt my cheeks heat up from the intensity of his stare. His gaze was trained on mine, a firm, unrelenting grip on my forearm, as if something in him had snapped. Oh. In one step he closed the distance between us, a black boot now in between my scuffed sneakers. _Oh_.

Thoughts of the spy and the mission rushed from my brain like microwaved jelly from its pot as he stared me down. The only thing I could focus on was Zoro leaning closer to me, fingers lifting my chin up so our lips met. My eyes fluttered closed. He was surprisingly gentle, and his lips surprisingly soft. I returned the kiss with ardour, maybe too much for where we were. A hand wrapped around my waist pulling me closer. I felt my hands rest on his side, resisting the urge to run my fingers over his chiseled torso. A familiar convenience store jingle chimed, barely registering in my mind as we broke apart. He leaned his forehead against mine. We stood holding each other, our chests heaving gently in sync.

I broke the silence first. "Is... Is he gone?"

Confusion flit across Zoro's face for a split second before he cast a cursory glance behind me. He nodded, releasing me. I turned as he ran a rough hand through his hair, frustrated. A quick scan around the store told me we were the only two people left, except the cashier who luckily, was not in direct line of sight, but unluckily, probably had to monitor us on the security cameras. Heat pooled in my face. Talk about giving them a show. Dammit.

"Sorry," said Zoro brusquely, not sounding very sorry. He extended a hand to me as I surveyed his tousled fringe and side profile. Why was he avoiding my gaze? Why did he keep apologising to me? Was expressing affection for me really that uncomfortable for him? At my lack of response he jerked a head at the cashier. Right. I took the proffered hand and we made our way to the counter.


	20. What's Going On Man

You know what I realised? I overlooked it before because I pretty much took it for granted, but sitting here on this bench focusing only on him scowling down at me as the world blurred by behind him made it impossible to miss.

Zoro brought his swords on a date.

Perhaps it was out of place with his black t-shirt, fitted jeans, and jacket which he had thrown at me in the movie theatre, but it never once struck me as odd that three swords clanked alongside him in tune to his steps as we strolled past dusty moisturisers and mint Kit-Kats in Don Quijote. I never even noticed them. It was only watching him stand before me with a cloud of disapproval storming over his head that I drank in the details of his character and saw him - really saw him - for the first time.

My conclusion? Roronoa Zoro was actually such a dork. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Why'd you even wear these."

Buuuut I wasn't sure I could say the same for him. We both cast a cursory glance at the offending short heels designed to look like a cat. I rubbed at my blistered ankles, admiring the embroidered whiskers wistfully.

"They're kitten heels..."

No response. The cloud of disapproval began to rain annoyance in rivulets down his face. Zoro wasn't one for puns. Especially not the kind that reduced the wearer of them to a debilitated, blistered mess, I supposed. I wondered if he was peeved at having to carry me to this bench on his back.

In my defense, I had rejected his initial offer of a piggyback ride. We'd been taking a stroll around the outdoor mall and I'd insisted on walking on cobblestones to hear the clicking sound my heels made on them. This wore out my tolerance for that new shoe scraping pretty quick. Zoro had caught on to my hirpling and insisted we head back.

"But it's such a nice day out," I'd whined. "And I want to spend more time with you."

I'd expected some sort of soft response, but he had just stared at me, grip on my hand tightening like a shounen protagonist's fist, taking a deep breath through his nose as if suppressing an urge to say something. "Fine," he'd huffed, before surveying the surroundings. Grabbing my hand he'd started marching toward a bench in the distance. Needless to say that turned out to be A Mistake. With a pained "WAA" that would have put Waluigi to shame my ankles buckled and I almost ate shit on the ground.

Almost. Zoro had swept to catch me before I could fall.

As I gripped his sturdy arms to steady myself my heart had skipped a beat. We had found ourselves in one of those Korean drama scenarios where the girl almost falls and the guy grabs her and they lock eyes and it's raining and he's looking at her with the gentlest look in his eyes and they stare at each other with all that romantic tension and then...! My body tingling with excitement I had swiftly glanced up at him, flush with anticipation.

Zoro's brows were furrowed, face irrigated with irritation.

Okay. Not quite the expression I was hoping for. I had gotten back onto my feet and dusted myself off, disappointed. Silly me and my silly hopes.

Turning from me, Zoro had gestured at his back. "Get on."

Wow, this t-shirt really hugged his muscles in all the right places. You could trace the musculature on his back and curve of his bones... Hold on, what did he say?

"What?" I'd said intelligently. "No, you don't have t-"

The end of my sentence never saw the light of day. Clearly tired of fighting Zoro had swept me off my feet in one smooth motion, holding me in his arms in a bridal carry without breaking a sweat like I weighed not more a punnet of grapes. The heck! In a confused panic I'd thrashed around like a Magikarp in a net. We were in _public_!

"Put me down!" I'd squawked.

Steady arms unaffected by my flailing, he'd calmly let me assault his firm chest for two minutes before letting out a deep sigh. I could almost physically feel him roll his eyes as he acquiesced and positioned me back on my feet. Jesus, just how strong was he?

Turning to face him I'd smacked at his chest in annoyance. "Don't do that again!"

With an unimpressed stare, he'd jerked an impatient thumb at his back. "Then get on."

I stood my ground. He stood his. We stared at each other for a stubbornly long moment. Reluctantly I'd wrapped my arms around his neck and hopped into his waiting back.

I'll admit, "reluctant" was a strong word. Sure, it was a little embarrassing to be carried around amongst all these passers-by, but it was between scraping up against my blisters with every agonising step or be lifted and moved to an alternate location by Roronoa Zoro. In essence, no contest. So I secretly enjoyed the ride. And I may have nuzzled against his neck. Sue me.

Zoro's neck had felt very warm. I hoped he wasn't falling sick.

I was plonked down on the bench unceremoniously as he stood before me, probably so that I could literally face the music: the music of Zoro's censure.

"'m carrying you back to dorms." It wasn't a question.

My hands waved in protest. "No, no! I'll just get some plaster bandages and tape the blisters up and it'll be fine!"

Zoro opened his mouth to argue, then closed it and shook his head. He turned to locate the nearest drugstore. A firm nod. "Okay. Anything else?"

An impulsive desire took root in my mind. Our little interaction in Family Mart promptly played in my brain like a flashback scene in a TV show. I fluttered my eyelashes at him. "A kiss?"

Zoro staggered backwards, as if my words had physically blown him away. A deep flush instantly started to spread from his neck up. He frowned hard, as if it would somehow hide the blush that had found its way to his ears. Not a chance. He floundered for a good two seconds, opening and closing his mouth a couple times as if deciding what to say. No words came forth. With a swift turn of his heel he was gone.

Not that I didn't secretly enjoy it, but I had no idea Zoro was capable of such awkwardness. He was never like that before. It was a little concerning. Where was the confident man demanding for a confession two days ago?

There was probably only one person who could answer this question with any semblance of accuracy. I whipped my phone from my purse.

You, Today, 5.56PM:  
Hey is Zoro really shy in relationships or something?

Nami, Today, 5.57PM:  
What?  
Is he refusing to follow the plan?

Jesus. I could feel her threatening energy emanating from the screen.

You, Today, 5.57PM:  
No no!  
I dunno he just seems really freaked out by anything romantic and keeps apologising to me  
He was so cool when he confessed I just thought being in a relationship was something he would be chill about too

Nami, Today, 5.58PM:  
...  
Does he know that you two are in a relationship?

What.

You, Today, 5.58PM:  
What.

Nami, Today, 5.58PM:  
Like when he confessed did you, gee, I don't know, say you liked him back?

What? That wasn't what I was expecting from my advisor. Zoro didn't know we were together? That's ridiculous! But we'd already- Wait. Oh. Oh _no_. Looking back I never got to finish my confession at the arcade and when he told me he liked me we got caught up in the attack on the dojo... Oh my God. Nami was right. I never told him I liked him back.

Oh God. That means this whole time Zoro was just trying to hold back so he didn't overstep his boundaries, while I was going around flirting and rubbing my chest up against his arm and asking him to kiss me. I buried my head in my hands. Shooting a quick thanks text to Nami I hobbled to my feet as the man of the hour neared the bench.

Raising an eyebrow, Zoro shot me a questioning frown. "What are you doing? Sit down."

I shook my head. Time to take control of this situation I'd put us both in. Reaching out to take the hand that wasn't holding a box of plasters I looked directly into his eyes. "Zoro, I like you too." His eyes widened. I immediately lost my nerve. "..Boyfriend? B-be mine? Will you, I mean??"

For a brief moment Zoro only stared as I sputtered. That didn't last long. Without any warning he tugged me closer and planted a kiss on me. It felt different this time; less like a burst of lost control and more slow, assured, like a slow release of pent up passions, yet intense, as if making up for lost time. He only let up when I pulled back for air.

His usual self-assured smirk regained its rightful throne on his lips. "I could do that."


	21. Les Adorables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i just,, wanted to write this

"You know, I wanted to kiss you that day."

"What?!" I felt myself blush to the tips of my hair roots. The switch from Holding Back Roronoa to Confident Zoro gave me whiplash. God, I forgot how sexy his assertiveness was. We had just begun our hike up the hill to the dorms after our eventful date and I was already feeling out of breath. Curse how flustered he made me.

"That day, after we left the club. We were on this road," he clarified, mistaking my shock for confusion.

Oh, I remembered that day all right.

"O-oh yeah?" I stuttered. "So why didn't you? Kiss me, I mean." The heat in my face could now effectively poach an egg.

He shrugged. "You were drunk." His eyes slid toward me slyly. "Didn't matter."

Didn't matter? Why didn't it matter? Did he just go make out with someone else after he dropped me off at my dorm room?! 

"Why not?" I demanded.

A teasing smirk played on his lips as he subtly watched my face for a reaction. "'Cause. You said I was 'too handsome'."

You know what, I take back what I said before. Confident Zoro sucked. May I get a refund?

A pleased chuckle fell from his lips at seeing my pout. Zoro gripped my hand, pulling me into his chest. The streetlights lit his brown eyes aglow just like it had all those weeks ago. A car zoomed by us. His gaze darted down to my lips. "I'll just have to make up for it now."

"I take it that the rest of the date went well."

Nami's voice cut through the memory like a wooden skewer through a cloud. I shook out of my daydream. Crud. Did I even verbally answer her question? My face began to warm. 

"Yeah, it went great. Thanks again."

Nami sipped at her hot chocolate daintily. "Don't mention it. Wrangling dumbasses is part of my job description." She grinned. My blush deepened. I deserved that.

A chocolate shaving bounced onto the empty stretch of wooden table separating us. In perfect sync we both turned to face the direction from whence it came. Luffy was wolfing down a massive chunk of tiramisu as if he was at that very moment participating in an eating competition, chugging gulps of water in between heaped spoonfuls. Several plates of assorted desserts lay before him in wait for their turn. I briefly wondered how he was going to pay for all this. It was a café on campus, but that didn't mean their wares came cheap. Luffy clearly shared none of these woes, scarfing down cake without a care in the world, but surely Nami would never let this slide...

My concern was quashed almost instantly.

"Hi Captain," came a sugary sweet voice. A beautiful girl in a frilly apron coyly hovered over Luffy. She tucked a bouncy lock of gently curled hair behind her ear. "How is everything? Can I get you more cake? Anything you want, it's on us!"

Tittering arose from the table next to ours. The seats were occupied by adorably-styled people, all lace and ruffles, googly-eyed as they watched Luffy grin politely at the waitress around his last mouthful of tiramisu. Hm. Was this the notorious Romance Division of the Luffy crew fan club that Barto always whined about? 

Nami rolled her eyes. They had clearly made her acquaintance, and she was clearly not impressed. She leaned in, lowering her voice. "We're lucky Zoro isn't coming today."

The lowered voice was for naught. At the mere whsiper of his name the waitress gasped, her tiny hands flying to her mouth like the perfect imitation of one of those 50s housewives in vintage ads. Cameras and autograph books started emerging from purses. Eager heads twisted and turned in search for the handsome swordsman. Nami groaned audibly. The excitement dulled slightly.

"You're just jealous," hissed one of the adorable people. "It's not our fault you're not good enough for a fan club."

What the hell? Frowning, Luffy turned to say something. Nami raised a hand, seeming to tell him she got this.

"Your precious 'Zor-zor'," she held up air quotes, "has a girlfriend. So stop stalking him."

Stalking him? Eyes wide I looked to Nami for an explanation. "I'll tell you later," she mouthed. Next to her Luffy mimed showering as he shoveled cake into his mouth. What?! They spied on him in the _shower_?! How?! Room 505 was like, five floors up!

"Who is it?!" one demanded, as another shrieked, "Prove it!" The waitress scoffed quietly. "It's Ro-ro not Zor-zor..." Nami ignored the correction and placed a triumphant hand on my shoulder, gesturing to me with a flourish. 

I glared at her. Did I really need all this ire?! 

Nami's voice was barely a whisper. "The more people know, the better!" Damn. Even now the plan was still at the forefront of her mind. Definitely a Slytherin. I made a mental note to ask her to do the quiz later.

"Her?!" a voice called snottily. I turned. The owner of the voice rolled his eyes. "NO way."

The group nodded, agreeing with the assessment. A petite girl with perfectly coiffed hair tossed her pink tresses over her shoulder. "Ro-ro said on his Singles profile that he only likes adorable people." She gave me the once-over. "You're not adorable."

Singles profile..? That cheese themed dating app? Judging from the familiar annoyed eye-roll that Nami gave I decided that Sanji probably had something to do with this.

A bell jingled at the door, signalling the entrance of new customers. As if remembering that she was still on the clock the waitress smoothed out her apron and started for the doors, only to stop in her tracks. Her mouth fell open delicately. All eyes followed her gaze.

Ah. Of course. Who else was to walk in but Roronoa Zoro.

Spotting Nami's bright orange hair he started making his way over to us. Eyes locking onto mine he sauntered past the row of murmuring adorables, ignoring the many phones documenting his arrival. It wasn't clear if he had even noticed them.

"Hey," Zoro said, leaning down to kiss me. The murmuring evolved into gasps and shocked whispers. Phones slipped from hands onto the table. As if he couldn't help himself he deepened the kiss, hand moving to cradle my face. A chair scraped on the floor. Cutlery clattered onto china. He broke away, our faces still inches apart. "Nice jacket," he whispered, running a thumb over the collar of the black jacket I had stolen from him. An additional cheek kiss sealed the deal. Zoro straightened.

"Hello to you too," Nami said sarcastically.

He responded with an ironic two-fingered salute to the table. Luffy raised a fork in response. Zoro stuck his thumbs in his pockets. "Chop sent me; he's gonna be late. Said there was an accident over at the lab."

I quickly looked down at my phone to see if I had missed any texts from Chopper in our 'Cafés (n Other Food!!!)' group chat. Ben Wyatt stared up at me. No notifications.

Zoro noted my confusion with a small smile. "His phone's dead. I ran into him earlier."

Nami narrowed her eyes, her face ridden with the kind of suspicion you could only harbour for someone you knew too long. "How did you find your way here?"

Swords clanked on his belt as he shifted to pull a folded sheet of paper out his back pocket. It flipped open to reveal a rudimentary map, hastily scrawled in blotty blue ink.

Hold on, a map?

"Wait, you can use maps?" This realisation shook me to the core. Why would he ever need me or Luffy's help if he could _read maps_? He could have been utilising Google Maps this whole time!

He let out a non-committal grunt, arms folded stubbornly across his chest. To an untrained eye he might have looked indignant. To me he just looked guilty. Nami and I cast distrusting looks at him. Luffy clanked a clean plate on top of his growing stack, eyes trained on the fresh uneaten cakes trapped in the glass display case up front.

"Hey, it's Brook!" called Luffy, spoon in mouth.

I looked past Zoro. Aha! Sure enough, the music major was standing over at the counter, ordering a coffee. He spotted us and waved. Faint squeals of excitement followed. Someone with a Soul King phone case snapped a photo of him. Huh. I forgot Brook had a following as a musician.

"Chopper'll be a while," Zoro announced to the table, before turning to me. "Let's go," he said lowly, brushing a piece of hair out my face before grabbing my arm. 

Heat pooled in my face. I had a couple of guesses as to what he wanted to go do. Angry twittering arose from the table beside us. They had also caught his meaning.

Nami put her mug down. "You spent a whole day with her yesterday and now you want to steal her from us?"

"Steal?" Zoro raised an eyebrow, visibly annoyed. "I have to ask for permission to be with my girl?" A gasping choke. An adorable clapped another on the back. One of them ripped a custom made Zoro pin from her collar and threw it on the table.

Luffy put the last plate down onto his stack with a decisive clank, silencing the two groups. Oh no. Did we anger the captain with our needless bickering? Nami and Zoro immediately quit glowering at each other, snapping to attention. I sat up straighter in my chair. Luffy placed his fork down solemnly.

He raised his hand. "Can I get more food please?" Nami shut her eyes in annoyance.


	22. The Stakeout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> home stretch

Crickets chirped. The moon hung high in the cloudless sky. Only a warm table lamp illuminated the otherwise dark room. Zoro and I were in my bed.

Oh calm down. Tonight was the stakeout, and Zoro and I had night shift. Luffy was fast asleep across the room after consuming two separate suppers.

You'd think the atmosphere would be tense, maybe fearful. And honestly, coming into my room with the expectation that we might be attacked was a feeling I wouldn't want to harbour in my heart again. But the easy confidence that Luffy and Zoro had steamrolled over my fear pretty quick. As Zoro said, as Luffy tucked himself into bed, whatever happened next, they could handle it. Then he sat to research for an essay. I guess my role in this was pretty much over. Time to study.

Hey, Whitewind or no, I still had to graduate.

"Hey," Zoro suddenly whispered. I looked up from my notes. "Perona forced some glow-in-the-dark stickers on me today."

He paused. I digested this information. The pause stretched on. We stared at each other.

"Wanna see 'em?"

Um, yes. What kind of question-

Zoro flipped his notes around to show me. I scanned the page. Nothing on there was that iconic luminescent green.

Damn. I was looking forward to seeing glowing stickers. 

"Where are they?" I asked, disappointed.

Zoro flipped his notes back to stare at them. "Guess the lights are too bright." Catching my crestfallen pout he raised a brow. "Let's get under my blanket."

I perked right back up. Yesssss.

With a chuckle Zoro threw the blanket over our heads, turning the papers over to me once more. Aww they're sheep! So cute. Wonder where Perona got them.

Zoro flipped the page. "Check out the otter one." A small frown. "Hm. She probably put it on the other chapter. Hold on."

He exited the blanket.

Staring at his muscled calves as his torso moved around above it occurred to me what a strange activity this was. Sure, there was something about growing into a young adult that made you regain your childhood love of glow-in-the-dark products, but they generally didn't occur under a blanket in the middle of a stakeout. Was there even a reason stoic, aloof Zoro had suddenly taken an interest in glow-in-the-dark stickers? Either way, I wasn't complaining. First of all, it was fucking adorable. Second, the sheep is so cute. It's smiling and everything. The otter better live up to the hype.

The unmistakable sound of the door bursting open made me jump out of my skin.

"All right, stay where you are Roronoa."

All the mental preparation in the world couldn't adequately ready me for Whitewind's cold voice. His mere presence sent a chill down my spine.

Hold up. I was still under a blanket. Immediately I tried to emerge from my extremely awkward position, before I felt a prod on the back of my head. "That means you too, Ms I'm Not Here To See Zoro."

Fuck.

I could only helplessly stare at the still figure before me. Just by looking at the way Zoro's body moved I could tell what he was internally swearing up a storm. Well, at least I knew he could handle this, easy. There was no chance Whitewind was going to get his way. Not today.

"Don't hurt her," Zoro said lowly. "What do you want from me?"

_What?!_ Where was all that confidence from before?! I couldn't believe my ears. What the heck was happening out there? I attempted to rise up, only for whatever was poking into the back of my head to shove me back down.

A triumphant guffaw echoed around my small room. 

"How the mighty have fallen!" The icy cold voice boomed. "Look at you, Roronoa Zoro. Hands up surrendering to me just because I have a gun to your girlfriend's head?" The mocking laughter continued. Zoro's calves tensed.

The gun shoved deeper into my skull. "Should we let her out? Show her how pathetic y-"

"Now!"

Whatever was pressed against the back of my head disappeared. I scrambled out of my blankety prison just in time to see Luffy attached to Whitewind like a koala, as Zoro kicked the weapon out of our assailant's hands.

Luffy moved to grip Whitewind in a headlock, still yawning. God, how strong was he?

Zoro stood before the two of them, checking his watch. "Get your dumb gang to the basketball courts. We're settling this once and for all."

There was no way Whitewind would take this lying down. He struggled against his restraints, only to have Luffy pull his arms back so far they let out a sickening pop.

"You tricked me?!" Whitewind's face was beet red with effort. "This was a fucking ambush?! You even had the chick pretend to give you a blowjob, you fucking asshole?"

A BLOWJOB?! What the fuck? What the _fuck_. What the FUCK!!!! Our enemy burst into the room thinking he had the upper hand on us because he thought- Wha- WHAT.

I felt heat rise up in my cheeks like a forest fire as my internal keysmashing continued to rattle around my brain. I stole a glance at Zoro. He looked more shocked than I felt, which was saying something. His scowl was so deep I was concerned it would permanently carve itself into his cheeks. Now three of us were beet red. Luffy kept his grip tight, but looked innocently into the corner of the room in a show of not hearing this conversation, as if it wasn't happening right in front of him.

Zoro grit his teeth. "Just- Just get your losers to the court, fuckhead."


	23. All According to Keikaku

Have you ever seen that one scene in an action movie, where the hero's sidekick gets kidnapped by the villain, and they eventually show up at a dramatically lit location ready for the climactic showdown?

Have you ever wondered how they get there? I never did.

And now I didn't have to. Turns out, you have to travel there. With your enemy. Together. In whatever transportation device you've chosen. What I'm saying is we had to get into Franky's car with Whitewind in a headlock and DRIVE to where the rest of the Whitewind gang and Straw Hats were.

I just counted myself lucky that we didn't choose to all hop onto the back of Robin's motorbike.

That didn't make things any less awkward. Anger only fuelled Whitewind's violent yelling for the walk to the carpark before he ran out of steam, and any demands for him to explain his targeted attacks came up nought. After that we were just... Silent.

What would you have us do? Make small talk with the man who had made an enemy out of Zoro and burnt down the dojo for no apparent reason? What could we even talk about? Arson techniques? No thanks. Besides, Zoro and I weren't done blushing about the blowjob accusation. So we just turned up the music and listened to Naruto OPs for the entire trip.

No prizes for guessing who was in charge of the playlist.

Thankfully, it wasn't a long drive to the basketball courts. Fifteen minutes and two traffic violations later we stumbled out into the carpark of the sports halls, mostly unscathed. Zoro looked a little green around the gills. It was probably a mistake to let Luffy drive.

We marched to the basketball with Whitewind in tow to find the Straw Hats and the opposing gang already there, glaring at each other. Robin's expression was so icy it could freeze Arendelle. Franky puffed his chest out in a bid to look bigger than he already was. Chopper waved enthusiastically at us. 

Zoro threw Whitewind into the middle of the court. His minions scrambled to help him up.

Whitewind glowered at the swordsman. "You'll regret this, Roronoa," he spat, venom seeping from his every word. His gaze darted to me, then back to Zoro. "I'd kill you both if it wasn't for-"

"I don't care," Zoro interrupted. He reached for the swords on his belt. "Let's just fight."

The Straw Hat crew braced themselves, ready to take on the gang of what seemed like fifty thugs lined up before them. Was I the only one who wasn't readily prepared to throw hands?! Luffy lied to me all those months ago. This was definitely a fight club.

"Wait!" 

Sixty heads whipped around to glare at the source of the interference. A familiar-looking teen scampered onto the court, waving his hands frantically.

"Stop! Stop this!" 

Whitewind's mouth fell agape as he stared at the approaching weirdo wearing cargo pants that threatened to fall from his hips with every step. His tent-like Deadpool shirt flapped around him in the wind.

Hold on.

"You're the boy from the cosplay store!" I blurted, as Whitewind went, "Turmald?"

We spun to cast disbelieving looks at each other, before looking back at the awkward teenager. Whispers arose from the Straw Hat crew. Usopp wheezed, unable to bite back his laugh.

Franky whacked him on the shoulder. "SUPER rude! Told you people can't change their names!"

Usopp just snorted.

"But I did choose this name," Turmald interjected, offended.

In unision we turned to him, incredulous. What?

Robin seemed the most shaken of all of us. "What?" she said aloud, her tone almost sounding like she was daring him to answer.

Turmald seemed to shake in his flip-flops. "Yeah, I thought it was cool... My real name is Gary."

Gary? His real name was Gary, and he picked _Turmald_? I felt my mouth fall open. The greasy teen did not seem all too pleased with our appalled expressions. He folded his arms and scowled.

"I just wanted a cool name like my big bro!" His defensive tone took on the nasal quality of someone badly trying to hide the fact that they were intimidated by public speaking. "He got to be Whitewind, I wanted something cool too!"

Whitewind slapped Turmald upside the head. Zoro's eyebrows shot way up.

Robin was even more shaken now. She took a dramatic step back, hand on her chest. "Whitewind... isn't your real name?"

Weirdly, Whitewind looked embarrassed. "My first name is Gerald."

GERALD?!?! My mouth fell open even wider now. A second passed with no one saying a word. The gang standing behind Whitewind shifted uncomfortably.

He spun around to shoot a death stare at his cowering subordinates. "What? What?! Shut the fuck up!" Gerald bellowed at the silence. He whipped back around to point at Zoro. "You wanted to fight, didn't you?! Let's fucking fight!" 

Oh God. There was no avoiding this now. At his signal Whitewind's gang sprung into action. Burly men wielding weapons rushed us with the gusto of an approaching typhoon.

Whitewind cackled maniacally, without a trace of his usual cool. "I'll make you eat your words!"

Luffy stopped short in the middle of an attack.

No one had noticed our captain was in the midst of buffering. Half-heartedly wrestling a gang member to the ground Luffy turned to face Whitewind, shaking ever so slightly. "Must we fight now?" he begged. "Can we do this later, Windy?"

'Windy' looked incredulous from his perch just beyond the battlefield. "No? This is a matter of pr- My brother's pride."

Luffy was silent.

In seconds it was over. Luffy moved so fast he was a blur, with only drops of blood to track his movements like a messed up version of Hansel and Gretel's breadcrumbs. Minions either lay beaten on the ground or hovering in various stages of panic at Whitewind's lifeless form, pinned facedown to the ground. Luffy stood over the vanquished, vibrating like a rubber band about to snap.

Zoro retrieved the nape of Whitewind's neck from his captain. "Nearest food place is that way." He pointed.

Luffy looked at Nami. She pointed in the opposite direction. Luffy marched off, sillouhette fading over the horizon.

O-kay. So that was that.

Zoro lifted the man in his hands to say something, only to find that his metaphorical lights had pretty much fizzled out. Annoyed, he let go. Whitewind crashed onto the concrete with a wet slap. Zoro whipped around to glare at Turmald. The cowering teen attempted to duck behind a pole.

Sanji lifted his foot from a fallen gang member. "Tell your brother this is over." He nudged the still body with a toe. "We're not giving our princess over to you."

With his sweaty, mussed up hair illuminated by the floodlights of the basketball court, Zoro looked down at me. We stared at each other. He took my hand and gestured to the rest of the crew. "Call campus security," he called to Chopper as we all turned to leave the bloodied gang defeated behind us. "So they can get rid of the trash."


	24. Three Sword Style

Every chicken teriyaki sandwich is a gamble. Are they going to be too sweet? Too saucy? Just right? There's little to no predictability with them. It's all guesswork. But one thing's for certain: they are rarely any good.

And yet, whenever I spot them, I buy them. It's one of the mysteries of the universe.

I stared at my food, although I knew full well no amount of staring could turn back the clock. As resentment swelled within me the sandwich was suddenly removed from my hands. It was immediately replaced with a pork katsu one. A bite had already been taken from it. 

I glanced up. Zoro was staring ahead, innocently chewing on a teriyaki sandwich. Warmth spread in my heart as I leaned into him.

We were seated eating lunch by the construction site watching the workers rebuild the dojo, as we had done for the past couple weeks. Apparently, they had about a month or so of work to go before it was back up and running. I could tell Zoro was antsy about getting to train in there again. He'd made his kendo members do drills by the running track, and the head of the track team lodged a noise complaint after the first two minutes. 

Also, it rained once, and since gis don't dry super quickly the resulting musty smell had caused Sanji to descend into hysterics when he attempted to call Zoro "Mouldy" instead of "Mossy". He was laughing so hard he never got it out. Zoro was not pleased.

Long story short Sanji walked around with a bruise over one eye for three days.

Now that I thought about it, it was really because of me that he was in this situation in the first place. If that whole thing with the cosplay store hadn't happened, Zoro wouldn't have tried to attack the kid, Whitewind wouldn't have targeted Zoro, and he wouldn't have... Damn it. 

I nudged Zoro with an elbow. "I'm sorry. It's my fault that the dojo burnt down."

He turned to face me, surprised.

"He wouldn't have targeted you or whatever if it wasn't for me," I explained.

He shook his head. Putting the last of the sandwich in his mouth Zoro leaned over me to retrieve the second one from the bag. "Bastard chose to do that for a dumb reason." He turned back to the construction site. "That's on him."

I supposed he was right. He did choose to take his aggressions out by committing arson. As I mulled this over, staring at where the equipment shelves would have been, a different thought crossed my mind. Swords. 

When I first met the Straw Hat crew, I was intrigued by Zoro and his belt of swords. It confused me that a) he travelled with weapons, b) there were three of them, and c) he seemed to be able to get lost under any and every circumstance. Like, who was this man?! Then things proceeded to spiral out of control. Having heartfelt conversations by a pond, falling for him in an arcade, pining instead of paying attention in class... Man, university was a doozy.

A rollercoaster ride of emotions and events later, here we were. Together, side by side, eating Family Mart sandwiches. Life, am I right?

And after all that I was pretty sure I knew everything about him: who he was, what he used his swords for, even how to work with his frankly ridiculous lack of direction sense. But I was wrong. One mystery still remained unsolved.

"Hey. I never asked you this."

A questioning "hm?" came from around a mouthful of bread.

"Why do you use three swords?"

He chewed for a moment as he processed this. A swallow. The hint of a smirk found its way onto his handsome face as he threw an arm around me. 

Zoro looked down at me, the smirk a full blown gentle smile now. "Why don't you stay with me to find out?"

My heart skipped a beat. An invitation to spend more time by his side staring at this handsome face under the guise of finding out more about Roronoa Zoro and his three swords?

I rolled my eyes to hide the urge to grin like a fool. "Sounds like a plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first thing I wrote I just wanted to prove I could finish something, and this one I went into armed with only a vague plan and nothing else (hence the meandering), and now I'm excited to see what I learn next. Sorta lost steam toward the end because I stopped reading One Piece but I really didn't want to leave this unfinished, so here this is. Thank you for sticking with it!! Your views and likes and comments were delightful. May we cross internet paths again.


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